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Discussion Lizerd’s children’s books.

Lizerd said:
Also adults: gonna need your help here. I have never consumed alcohol, seen anyone drunk, or really had much exposure to alcohol. So people who have any experience send help
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Join the club - I'm 20 (soon to be 21), yet have never allowed a drop of alcohol to pass my lips. It's nothing to be ashamed about.
 
Lord Agragax of Lunaxoatl said:
Join the club - I'm 20 (soon to be 21), yet have never allowed a drop of alcohol to pass my lips. It's nothing to be ashamed about.
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I was law abiding and did not drink until my 21st birthday as well. Probably a good thing. People in their early twenties are not paragons of restraint but I don't believe teenagers show restraint at all.
 
Alright, I think I have a good amount of material to work with here, not going to release many spoilers here, but there is going to be a lot of regret in the end of it, and maybe a massive wreck or two :D

Thanks for all the stuff, while not many symptoms are detailed I have seen some of the Simpson’s with homer getting drunk
 
Well, i like to drink, but to enjoy small tastes and to lose your mind while drinking... are totally different things..
I could describe the very first steps of getting high, but no more than that.
 
Killer Angel said:
Educational books for children: "Hygiene matters!"

In this illustrated book, our favorite skink Tehenhauin will teach your child the importance of hygiene, and how you should deal with rodents, bringers of diseases.


Various reviews:

"I puked" - John Wick
"I can't unsee those images! Expect a call from my lawyer!" - a mother (signed letter)
"I quit" - Sam "rat pest control"
"The Ritual of the Sacred Evisceration has been watered down" - Temeki, skink priest
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"Just remember to apply two thin coats of sacred evisceration" - Duncan Rhodes
That would be a great paint name now that I think of it. Almost as good as "incomprehensible lime".
Edit: Changed my mind. It's now "Too Evil To Even Comprehend Off-Yellow"
 
It's easy to imagine that there is some Lustrian jungle plant that produces fruit that would make a Bastiladon drunk.
Aginor said:
Probably he ate a lot of spoiled fruit, like in that famous movie:
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It's easy to imagine that there is some Lustrian jungle plant that produces fruit that would make a Bastiladon drunk. Maybe that's what they feed them before sending them into battle(this probably wouldn't be good if it has a solar engine, but at least you have an excuse whenever you roll badly):D
 
Alright here it is:
The Very Hungover Bastiladon


“This is why I like carnosaurs” Kroq-Gar

“We have no idea how this happened” the skink handlers

“They are smarter than we thought” Ikit Claw


In the dense jungles of lustria wild berries were in full bloom. While the carnosaurs and coldones as well as the other carnivorous denizens of the jungle didn’t give a damn, the herbivores were all over the berries. Everyone, except for a certain bastiladon. He was deep asleep after butchering skaven, and was understandably tired, so when he woke up most of the berries were gone. All of them, except for the partially fermented ones on the ground. The cogs of the bastiladon’s brain were turning.


He decided a few would do, he wouldn’t over do it. So he ate a few, and his vision got a bit blurry, but it was okay so he ate a few more, and a few more, until finally, his vision blurry and mind a jumble he forgot how many berries he could eat, and so he consumed them in huge amounts before drunkenly waddling home to his pen. He woke up to some very interesting news.


A skink was announcing horrific tales, in a high chittering voice that hurt the hungover bastiladon’s head. A sacred alter had been smashed, while sacred plaques now had crude graffiti saying something about a carnosaur’s mother, and the culprit was identified, an extremely drunk bastiladon in a tree. It took the skinks 5 hours to remove the bastiladon and set it free, and the story would be told for decades to come. The damage was extremely extensive and months would be needed to repair it. His skink handlers were giving him dirty looks, and the hungover bastiladon really had no idea what he did last night…


With reviews!

“Great, the bloods gone but you had to get a drunk animal?” Literary critics

“Alcohol sounds fun!” Todd, 4 years old

“My turn!” A ripperdactyl
 
I loved reading that, thank you @Lizerd ! There wasn't need of going in to a lot of detail on the "drunk" thing, which you decided to keep very general and that worked well. It brings a confused smile to my face when I try to imagine a drunk Bastiladon in a tree and how he got there :)
 
Lord Agragax of Lunaxoatl said:
Never mind how he got in the tree - how on earth did he write the graffiti about the Carnosaur's mother? ;)
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Vedras said:
Hahahahahah how indeed!. Do you think he may have laser-etched it? ;)
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He replaced the solar engine with a giant airbrush. Sacred evisceration is IMPOSSIBLE to wash off. That’s why it took months to repair the damage. :D
 
Lizerd said:
Alright here it is:
The Very Hungover Bastiladon


“This is why I like carnosaurs” Kroq-Gar

“We have no idea how this happened” the skink handlers

“They are smarter than we thought” Ikit Claw


In the dense jungles of lustria wild berries were in full bloom. While the carnosaurs and coldones as well as the other carnivorous denizens of the jungle didn’t give a damn, the herbivores were all over the berries. Everyone, except for a certain bastiladon. He was deep asleep after butchering skaven, and was understandably tired, so when he woke up most of the berries were gone. All of them, except for the partially fermented ones on the ground. The cogs of the bastiladon’s brain were turning.


He decided a few would do, he wouldn’t over do it. So he ate a few, and his vision got a bit blurry, but it was okay so he ate a few more, and a few more, until finally, his vision blurry and mind a jumble he forgot how many berries he could eat, and so he consumed them in huge amounts before drunkenly waddling home to his pen. He woke up to some very interesting news.


A skink was announcing horrific tales, in a high chittering voice that hurt the hungover bastiladon’s head. A sacred alter had been smashed, while sacred plaques now had crude graffiti saying something about a carnosaur’s mother, and the culprit was identified, an extremely drunk bastiladon in a tree. It took the skinks 5 hours to remove the bastiladon and set it free, and the story would be told for decades to come. The damage was extremely extensive and months would be needed to repair it. His skink handlers were giving him dirty looks, and the hungover bastiladon really had no idea what he did last night…


With reviews!

“Great, the bloods gone but you had to get a drunk animal?” Literary critics

“Alcohol sounds fun!” Todd, 4 years old

“My turn!” A ripperdactyl
Click to expand...
“Now that’s a lotta’ damage!” - Phil Swift
 
Not a bad idea, but it’s going to be a few days until I can do more as school started again :(
 
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