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Discussion Lizerd’s children’s books.

@Lizerd

great work so far… but these are children books, and children want something cute, something they can relate to.
I would like:

"Baby Steggies' first day of school"

(in which mama steggy brings a bunch on humans to her beloved child, to teach them how to properly kill by trampling / impaling a prey) :angelic:
 
Well I did have a Stegadon thing planned but your idea here with a stegadon at school, that’s a good one. I should have plenty of time to do some work on it for the next few days, so at some point expect that coming out

@DeathBringer125 that does make a lot of sense, as warhammer is generally pretty gritty and the few comical books made by them are pretty lame.
 
Educational books for children: "Hygiene matters!"

In this illustrated book, our favorite skink Tehenhauin will teach your child the importance of hygiene, and how you should deal with rodents, bringers of diseases.


Various reviews:

"I puked" - John Wick
"I can't unsee those images! Expect a call from my lawyer!" - a mother (signed letter)
"I quit" - Sam "rat pest control"
"The Ritual of the Sacred Evisceration has been watered down" - Temeki, skink priest
 
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@DeathBringer125 your wish is granted, it may be a bit rushed but hope it’s enjoyable

The grumpy Stegadon

In yet another book filled with gore and carnage, the acclaimed author Lizerd has WiFi again and is back writing.

“Even electroshock therapy failed… we need more options” FBI agent

“I don’t care if he isn’t a lizard man, we are keeping him!” mazdamundi

“Reading this to my stegadon, he loves it” Tehenauin


It was a perfectly ordinary day for Spike the Stegadon. He had trampled hundreds of enemies, stompping them into a bloody pulp. On the way out the lizardmen army saw a preschool. The saurus said no, claiming “we may be bloodthirsty but killing kids is the limit.” The skinks said “we want to get actual dam wages” and the kroxigors could not see the kids. So Tehenauin told spike to carry out the deed.

See people! See people run! Stomp, spike stomp!

Legend has it that even the unstable saurus still shudder at night, remembering the horrors of that day…


As always, reviews from the traumatized:

“HOW? How did he make it more horrifying?!” Keanu Reeves

“There was blood, everywhere!” Saurus warriors at the scene
 
I was thinking about this thread the other day and came up with a few ideas. I think a few variations have been suggested or done already;

We are going on a Trog hunt
The very hungover Bastiladon
Skinks and the giant turnip
The Wonderful Priest of Lustria
The Skink in the sink
 
I was wondering to myself if there were fruits/berries/veg that did naturally ferment.

Is it plausible that once consumed they could have slowly reacted with what the Basti may have eaten earlier?
 
Lizerd said:
@DeathBringer125 your wish is granted, it may be a bit rushed but hope it’s enjoyable

The grumpy Stegadon

In yet another book filled with gore and carnage, the acclaimed author Lizerd has WiFi again and is back writing.

“Even electroshock therapy failed… we need more options” FBI agent

“I don’t care if he isn’t a lizard man, we are keeping him!” mazdamundi

“Reading this to my stegadon, he loves it” Tehenauin


It was a perfectly ordinary day for Spike the Stegadon. He had trampled hundreds of enemies, stompping them into a bloody pulp. On the way out the lizardmen army saw a preschool. The saurus said no, claiming “we may be bloodthirsty but killing kids is the limit.” The skinks said “we want to get actual dam wages” and the kroxigors could not see the kids. So Tehenauin told spike to carry out the deed.

See people! See people run! Stomp, spike stomp!

Legend has it that even the unstable saurus still shudder at night, remembering the horrors of that day…


As always, reviews from the traumatized:

“HOW? How did he make it more horrifying?!” Keanu Reeves

“There was blood, everywhere!” Saurus warriors at the scene
Click to expand...

“That kid’s got class” - Phil Harris

“Goooooooood” - Ian McDiarmid

“How would there have been a preschool in the Empire?” - NostalgiaCritic
 
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Vedras said:
I was wondering to myself if there were fruits/berries/veg that did naturally ferment.

Is it plausible that once consumed they could have slowly reacted with what the Basti may have eaten earlier?
Click to expand...

Now that @Aginor has mentioned it, naturally fermenting grapes can make animals tipsy (if you’ve seen Walking with Beasts as I have you’ll know that that sometimes can make the difference between life and death). In addition you may be right, I’m unsure if there are any fruits that react this way when fermenting, but it sounds plausible.
 
Hmm, I don’t have a bastiladon yet, so it may be next up on the list.
I am working on another story project as well as prepping for the birthday load (a lot of stuff is en route) but I can probably get the story out before then.

Also adults: gonna need your help here. I have never consumed alcohol, seen anyone drunk, or really had much exposure to alcohol. So people who have any experience send help

Edit: I did see a documentary about a drunk moose getting stuck in a tree, so that might be a lead
 
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Lizerd said:
Hmm, I don’t have a bastiladon yet, so it may be next up on the list.
I am working on another story project as well as prepping for the birthday load (a lot of stuff is en route) but I can probably get the story out before then.

Also adults: gonna need your help here. I have never consumed alcohol, seen anyone drunk, or really had much exposure to alcohol. So people who have any experience send help

Edit: I did see a documentary about a drunk moose getting stuck in a tree, so that might be a lead
Click to expand...


Hi Lizerd, if there's anything particular you would like to know I'm sure we can give you a clear picture buddy.

On the side of caution though, I'm picking up the small nuance that you may not be close to or near drinking age, so it may not be fair for you to feel like you have to do something on a subject that is Adult and not familiar to you.

On that note I'm also asking myself if as an adult (Technically), we should be mindful of how we go down this rabbit hole with you.

Basically you can have a positive or negative experience which depends on how much you consume. I'm sure lots of Lustria members have their own stories but those will be for another thread on another day.

If you still want some feedback I'm sure we can be informative without being too....detailed :)
 
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