While the whole scenario of it reflecting Tolkien's worship of his wife is touching and admirable, I can no longer identify with it personally because girls in this day and age don't seem to treasure that sort of affection from a man anymore. I was very prone to putting girls on a pedestal in my teens, my fault entirely, and I've been insulted enough by women willing to use me purely as a validation dispenser to realise that it's no longer a respectable or beneficial mindset for a man to have.
I have had similar experiences where my pre-existing romantic notions got replaced by cynicism after exposure to reality.
I have pondered how this will impact romance, courtship, sex, and families in
Scarterra.
Should this reflect my cynical world view on this now or an idealistic view of what I want the world to be?
I could also aim to write what I think readers would enjoy reading. What I mean is in fiction, there are only about five or six archetypal romance stories that all romantic stories are based on. The most popular romantic story among a plurality of women is some variation of the Beauty and the Beast story. A woman civilizes a dangerous man (wins over the bad boy). There are hybrids.
Twilight, covers three archetypal romantic stories: taming the bad boy, love triangles, and forbidden fruit.
I'm not sure what men in general look for, but personally my favorite romantic comedies are
Groundhog Day,
The Princess Bride, and
The Truman Show. The plucky everyman male protagonist gets the girl after demonstrating courage and perseverance while also having an exciting and novel adventure.
Thus far, I mostly end up writing asexual heroes that have adventures that have nothing to do with sex and love. Maybe that's why I like writing about Lizardmen so much. They reproduce asexually and effectively are androgynous.
I'm still mulling over options and I am famously indecisive, but the front runner I have for how to deal with romance in Scarterra is to give every Scarterran race I develop their own separate version of "normal".
Gnomes are likely to represent an old school monogamous marriages and very supportive loving extended families. My first gnome protagonist is going to be separated from his family for his whole adventure but he is going to rely on the wisdom and teachings of his parents, grand parents, aunts and uncles to navigate the challenges and obstacles he is presented with.
That doesn't mean, humans, elves, dwarves, tengku, kalazotz and satyrs have to follow suit. That said, my heart belongs to gnomes so in a way gnomes represent what I thing the world
should look like.
As of yet, I don't have a plan for any particular group to represent a
dystopian version of sexual and relationship dynamics though I might do something like that for merfolk and the other sentient races of Scaraqua (the sea).