that describes all players not just competitive ones people who tell you they don't care about winning are lying to you
Everyone likes winning. But it is generally not the sole focus. For example, some players of AoS might care about creating cinematic moments (e.g. glorious last stands, a duel between heroes etc.) even when it's reduces their chances of winning. Essentially they'll purposefully make mistakes on account of it being cool or fun.
Competitive minded players will, generally speaking, not do those kinda things if it means winning is in the balance.
Which was the point I'm trying to make.
being a poor looser is not due to a game balancing around competitive. it sucks to loose in any game and we always want to win.
yes just like being completely dominated in any game say chess risk or a fighting game.
pretty much yeah.
but it wasn't unfair, it wasn't virtually impossible they just didn't do well enough. just like the runners up in little league didn't do well enough. and remember list building is mart of the skill in playing this game.
People are generally fine with losing. They're generally not fine with losing due to things they
percieve as completly outside their control or due to something they
percieve to be an unreasonable punishment for a minor mistakes. Things like Nagash dominating magic to the point of invalidating an opposing mage will be
percieved as unreasonable because that mage has no meaningfull option to fight back. The situations with the eels will be
percieved as unreasonable because it's a 1/2" mistake and the average player cannot reasonably be expected to not make such small mistakes.
What's very important to realize here is that what matters is
perception. It's all ultimatly subjective, and of course debate can be had about where exactly the cut-off point lies but generaly most people can agree on at least some of it. For example if 1/2" is a reasonable mistake you can argue about, maybe you think being accurate to 1/4" is still a reasonable expectation. But we can all agree there's a limit to how accurate people can place their models, and punishing say a 1/10" mistake would be absurd.
This is also why being dominated in say chess is considerably less frustrating. You don't get punished for something silly like placing your piece 1/2" out of position and the rules are extremely clear as to what can and can't be done. Which makes it very easy to know what kinda moves are possible at any given moment. Since that is relativly easy it's also relativly easy to accept your loss as it's much easier to see what you did wrong, as well as how big of a mistake it was (or wasn't). It also helps that all pieces are always relevant. A pawn can still checkmate a king. This means that even after you've lost a considerable chunk of your pieces you can still win. Which again, helps people feel like they're in control and not just being toyed with by an opponent with a superiour force.
Also important to note; fair would be a misnomer here. Keeping a game (almost) fair is surprisingly easy, as the rules are clearly defined and generally at least some measure of balance is attempted. It's not like games allow cheating or say allow one army in AoS to bring triple the points (or include a unit that should cost three times as much). What's more accurate would be to use the term unreasonable I guess.
uh no, no we do care about that and we make mention of it and take it into account when list building. do not put arguments in our mouths. but we also recognize that bad match ups will happen even in games as perfectly balanced as chess where the two armies are exactly the same but white still has a heavy advantage. and most of us enjoy the chalange of a bad match up it's why rock paper scissors is a big part of game design.
Rock-paper-scissors mechanics are literally defined by the massive local inbalances to the point hard-counters have 100% winrates but average out to 50% overall in the meta-game... And that's kind of the basis of like 99% of all competitive balance focused approaches.
So no, I'm not putting words in your mouth, that's literally just the most common used basis of competitive balance and something these games tend to activly advertise with...
toxic to you sure fun to a lot of the rest of us(remember this it will be important latter)
Toxic/degenerate/disruptive/<however you wanne call em> playstyles are often quite fun for the user if they can succesfully pull them off. They tend to be infuriating for whomever is on the recieving end, both if they lose as well as when they do manage to win against this nonsense. The reason for this is quite simple. These type of playstyles generally don't follow "regular" play and force you to react in a very specific way. Thus taking away control from the player on the recieving end (which again, is bad... people don't like to lose control). Also, depending on how big the disruption is, it can even turn the game into something completly different the "victim" may not be interested in playing.
As an example of that you have things like Singed proxy-farming in LoL, it disrupts the normal flow of the game & requires very specific counter-actions, which may or may not be possible depending on what the victim is playing. Either way, as the victim you're most likely just going to be annoyed you have to deal with this nonsense.
Anyway, the issue is that competitive focused balance tends to ignore the victim's frustration, and only cares about the user's fun. (again, for a prime example see LoL, they've literally come out and said as much at one point.)
you definitely like hammering away at this point don't you? if you have a better measuring stick to use please let us know. until then winrates are ONE of many metrics we use.
Use literally anything else. The most obvious being comparisons of various stats and ensuring things stay within a certain bandwith as well as associating some form of cost with stats/abilities.
Winrate has so many confounders it isn't even funny, relying on that as a measuring stick for balance is just pointless. Especially as noone ever corrects for the confounders. If at least they'd do that it might have some vague semblance of usefullness.
noooo we tend to fix those. slower then other games due to how GW does rebalancing but actual bugs(and not things you don't like) do get fixed. and if it's an official feature then it's not a bug it's a rule you don't like.
GW generally does a decent job at fixing bugs/unintended effects, or well, they try to... Unfortunatly their solutions aren't always better than the bug, but that's a detail I guess

.
Competitive balance in general, however, does not care. It's why things like animation cancelling are a thing in most videogames... That sorta thing is pretty much never intended, but it's difficult to completely avoid and from a competitive point of view it adds "skill-expression" so it usually is accepted as a "feature".
examples would be helpful.
Like 99% of games that explicitly set out to be e-sports.
Especially things that advertise with "hardcore" and "old-school". They also tend to immeadiatly fail cuz the niche they serve is so ridiculously tiny. Also a lot of them simply are really bad, even without the issues that competitive focused balance can bring, so that doesn't help.
The few that do succeed often have other things going on on the side, drawing in "players" that don't really play the game all that much (e.g. LoL has a massive community of cosplayers) or rely on non-competitive players for the bulk of their players (e.g. a large chunk of AoE II or SC players refuse to go anywhere near ranked and just play the campaign or the occasional game against a friend...) or are relativly "simple" games that are easy to pick up and provide a nice easy shot of dopamine to "players" who again, don't really care what they're playing, preferably with lootboxes for some extra dopamine, and profits of course... (e.g. FiFa, CoD, Rainbow Siege). Also, if at all possible, the succesfull ones utilize all of these aspects to be succesfull....
wonderfully objective measuring stick you have there. a lot of things you don't think are fun(and therefor not balanced or toxic) are things the rest of us enjoy(see i told you to remember that) sooo how do you balance that? you have 2-∞ standards of fun to balance around.
Defining fun is difficult (especially as a broad term, it's easier if you restrict yourself to say a specific genre of game or limit yourself to a specific target audience), defining anti-fun is considerably easier though. Like I said earlier, people don't like it when they feel they can't control the situation, or mistakes are punished to an unreasonable degree. Again, this is still subjective and depended on genre and target audience, but it's the type of thing you should be on the look out for.
Avoiding those kind of frustrations for the majority of your playerbase is generally is a good idea if you want to create a fun game.
ok do you have examples of this working in real life?
A lot of nintendo games tend to succeed in this regard. Though the competitive scene then often does it best to ruin things by randomly declaring bits to be "unfair", and occasionally by wildly missing the point of the game (pokemon's competitive scene is kind of ironic given the consistent messaging you should play with your favorites in those games)
Other than that:
Most sports.
Most children games that have evolved a stable rule-set (so stuff like variants of tag, not the incoherent games a 2 year old toddler comes up with)
A good chunk of board games that've stuck around
A considerable chunk of older videogames that couldn't rely on patches to fix frustrating OP things.
Cooperative games (in general PvE type games do this well as they only need to focus on making it fun for 1 side)
we have a lot of games that beg to differ. SC2, TF2, dishonored, AoS, the total war games, age of empires 2, yu-gi-ho, pokemon, street fighter, mortal combat, teken, world of tanks, and rainbow seige are all bassed heavily around the competitive seen. most of them are leaders in their genre. and half of them still have massive dedicated player basses after 10 or more years.
Have you tried playing AoE II ranked after not playing for a while? It's awefull. It's filled with people trying waaaaaaaaaay too hard to be optimal, and if you don't join in this ratrace you lose after about 5 minutes of gameplay when you get invaded by 3 scouts that will be nicely micro-ed to ruin your day.
Same with pokemon. Have you played that competitivly after playing it like a normal person who just played their favorites and maybe had a basic understanding of EV's and natures? Only to get swiped by some meme-team you can't even touch?
Same with 99% of fighting games. Playing against friends is fine. Playing competitivly results in you getting juggled until you die by what is considerate a bottom tier player.
The basic games are fun enough, assuming you like the genre, but the competitive scene is fairly consistently awefull to get into. And more often than not plays completly different from the campaign/skirmish/games with friends to the point it might as well be a completly different game.
Lastly what's rather important. A good chunk of those didn't set out to be competitive and aimed to be a fun game first and foremost. Pokemon very explicitly ignores the competitive scene, to the point the competitive scene regularly complains about this. AoE II created its core 20-25 years ago and hasn't significantly changed since (at least in terms of its core-gameplay). TF2 is at it's core just a ridiculous game aimed at fun and hats. SC2 is build with the campaign at its core.
Also, what's rather important to, none of these are exactly stable games.
Imho, to count as "having stood the test of time", a game shouldn't be recieving frequent updates anymore.... Difficult to claim it's still the same game after 200 patches (or a 100 sequels in the case of pokemon)
Also, genuine question, how many of these have a competitive scene that's actually stable, with a nice influx of new blood, and fairly large playerbase (outside of Korea at least, before you point out SC is super duper populair over there), and isn't just a niche within a niche? I can't remember the last time I saw yu-gi-oh cards in a regular store. The last time I saw kids playing pokemon in the park I was still a teenager. The only time I see anyone talk about AoE II is when I end up in strange corners of the internet. And a good chunk players tend to prefer the campaign or skirmishers against the AI cuz it's more fun and less stressfull. How much of their competitive playerbases is just the people that happened to grow up with those games and stuck around? Resulting in a playerbase that is going to die out as there's little to no fresh blood.
As an aside, how is dishonoured a competitive game, isn't that a solo-game?
completely untrue see above.
this is a red haring. sports teams do not play under different rules from each other anything one team has access to the other does as well.
Eh, why would it matter if the game is assymetrical or not? The point is that most actually long-living stable games don't change rules simply because something is "OP" but are primarly focused on changing things that are frustrating, boring or just generally unsportsmanlike. Assymetrical game or not.