Slann
Lord Agragax of Lunaxoatl
Eleventh Spawning
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Easy, the chickens. Pleas note that it specifically says "YOUR car" meaning getting an Uber or having friends drive you places is an option.
Also, it doesn't clarify if "fighting an Orangutan with a sword once a year" means:Easy, the chickens. Pleas note that it specifically says "YOUR car" meaning getting an Uber or having friends drive you places is an option.
Reminds me of a runner-up entry in the Bulwer-Lytton contest. "Bill left this world the way he entered it: amidst loud screams, bloody sheets, and the dark mutterings of his kin that they would find and punish the man responsible."