Slann
Lizards of Renown
Herald of Creation
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Contest July-August 2022 Voting and Reading Thread
- Thread starter Scalenex
- Start date
Slann
Imrahil
Thirtheenth Spawning
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Congratulations @Killer Angel with the win, on you the dreadful task of coming up with a new theme 
My vote went to your piece
and thanks for voting on mine
Thanks @Scalenex for the organization. Looking forward to your coming review
Grrr, Imrahil
My vote went to your piece
and thanks for voting on mine
Thanks @Scalenex for the organization. Looking forward to your coming review
Grrr, Imrahil
Slann
Killer Angel
Prophet of the Stars
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That was a really pleasant surprise, because with only one vote i thought the gap wouldn't have been that great.
And indeed, al the other stories ended pretty close to each other.
This round i won both the story AND the poetry comp... i must say I'm proud of it.
WIth this one, I've joined the story comp 19 times, collecting SIX victories.
Which is really good, not only in terms of sheer numbers but also looking at the percentage. It took some time to improve since my first stories but now it seems i'm able to keep a reasonably high standard.
I would like to see again an increase of the number of writers...
Troglodon
Y'ttar Scaletail
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*Returns from the sea again...more alive than the last time*
Many congrats @Killer Angel!
I did start writing reviews but just didn't have the time to finish them. Will try and find the time as these were some very interesting and well written pieces.
Many congrats @Killer Angel!
I did start writing reviews but just didn't have the time to finish them. Will try and find the time as these were some very interesting and well written pieces.
Slann
Imrahil
Thirtheenth Spawning
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@Scalenex and @Killer Angel is there a chance the theme for upcoming short-story contest could already be revealed?
(I am itching to put my thinking cap on again )
Grrr, Imrahil
(I am itching to put my thinking cap on again
)Grrr, Imrahil
Slann
Killer Angel
Prophet of the Stars
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@Scalenex and @Killer Angel is there a chance the theme for upcoming short-story contest could already be revealed?
(I am itching to put my thinking cap on again
Grrr, Imrahil
Absolutely not.
And if it will happen to be "Named Character(s)", it will be only an extraordinary coincidence.
Slann
Imrahil
Thirtheenth Spawning
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Absolutely not.
And if it will happen to be "Named Character(s)", it will be only an extraordinary coincidence.
we will have to wait and see then 
Grrr, Imrahil
Slann
Scalenex
Keeper of the Indexes
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Better Late Than Never Reviews
Story One, "The Maze": This was an unorthodox but very interesting take on the contest theme. This piece had a lot of things I like and one thing I didn't like that prevented me from voting for it which was all for the good I guess because allocating one vote among five pieces is hard.
The vague creeping doom and weirdness made me think of Event Horizon (definitely one of my all time favorite horror movies and the best of the "haunted house" subgenre) where the location is as much a character as anything else. I really like the focus on sensory images, smell, taste, sound, and not just sight. This is always an excellent detail for Lizardmen in general but in my opinion, even better for Saurus stories.
In my opinion a big aspect of writing Lizardmen is the dichotomy. Animalistic instincts, human intellect, and unquestioning religious faith all enhancing and conflicting with each other and this piece hit all of those things.
My main misgiving was that this piece was more than a bit confusing, and my OCD logician brain makes me unhappy if I don't understand everything. The mystery and confusion may have been necessary for the type of horror @Lizards of Renown was going for or maybe it wasn't. The protagonist went through a portal and was surrounded by weird scary stuff. Okay, "He's in the Chaos realm". An interesting take on the theme. But at the same time the story kept using rat and skaven imagery (even the title made me think of rats in a maze). I wasn't sure if he was in the WHF Chaos realm or a skaven-infested Age of Sigmar world or something else. While all the general horror and creepiness was enticing, none of it felt Nurgle-y, or Khorne-ish, or Hashut-y, or of the Horned Rat. It felt a bit too generic horror and not enough Warhammer for my taste.
Story Two, a Safe Path: This was a very literal take on the contest theme. I have no major misgivings, I eventually voted for this piece.
Just when I started thinking, "my suspension for disbelief is being challenged because there is no way a guide book this useful would just be lying around" it is revealed that the whole thing is an elaborate con. A well executed twist ending.
I like well executed twist endings but I rarely vote them. I voted for this piece because this story did not rely entirely on the surprising ending. I liked the characters' voices and personality. I liked that a solid story was told in a relatively small word count, very impressive pacing and structure @Killer Angel.
Story Three, Game Over: A conventional take on the theme. I don't have much specific feedback but this was solid piece @Imrahil wrote, and I considered voting for. I ultimately had to take it off my voting short list for relatively petty reasons.
In some ways, this piece was conventional. There were thirty previous short story contests and most of the contests have one (or more) short stories about a treasure seeking adventure party gradually getting whittled down by the dangers of the jungle and its inhabitants. The fact that this story type is familiar was not a problem, I like a classic. I've also read enough of this story type to recognize skilled writing. It's got got well paced mini-action scenes, good narrarative descriptions, and the characterization combining the protagonist's pragmatism and desperation in equal measure is well woven into the narrative.
I really liked the circular ending at the end of the piece. It captures the essence of pre-Age of Sigmar Lustrian explorer stories.
Could have used a little bit more editing. A little bit more paragraph spacing to avoid giant blocks of text. Maybe a bit more personal character voices. Maybe a little bit of explanation for how and why the other explorers followed the narrators direction. No big problems, but I had to eliminate this piece from my short list for something.
Story Four, "Extracts from ‘Life and Death in the Mortal Realms'": This piece had a good character voice and it filled in more than a few holes in Age of Sigmar lore. I was entertained but was not tempted to vote for @Y'ttar Scaletail's piece.
It was interesting narrative, but it didn't feel like I was reading a traditional short story with a clear beginning, middle, and end. If you have read my previous critiques, that is a big thing for me.
Story Five, Behind the Mountain: Ultimately, my last short list was between this and Story Two. I almost voted for this. I liked the idea of an exploration story not focused on exploration itself, but it focused on the yearning for the unknown. It was very humanizing for the Lizardmen.
I am always interested in "Slice of Life" stories of Lizardmen life. This piece had conflict and emotional stakes even though it didn't have physical conflict or life or death battles. The conflict was between the conflicting inner drives (duty, instinct, and intellect) that define Lizardmen and that always appeals to me.
The twist ending where the piece rapidly became less mundane and more sci-fi at the end mildly bugged me given that my heart was with the mundane aspects of a desire for exploration. That's why I ultimately ended up voting for Story Two though I don't fault @thedarkfourth for putting epic fantasy in a fantasy story. I had to pick some reason to break the tie between this piece and Story Two.
Story One, "The Maze": This was an unorthodox but very interesting take on the contest theme. This piece had a lot of things I like and one thing I didn't like that prevented me from voting for it which was all for the good I guess because allocating one vote among five pieces is hard.
The vague creeping doom and weirdness made me think of Event Horizon (definitely one of my all time favorite horror movies and the best of the "haunted house" subgenre) where the location is as much a character as anything else. I really like the focus on sensory images, smell, taste, sound, and not just sight. This is always an excellent detail for Lizardmen in general but in my opinion, even better for Saurus stories.
In my opinion a big aspect of writing Lizardmen is the dichotomy. Animalistic instincts, human intellect, and unquestioning religious faith all enhancing and conflicting with each other and this piece hit all of those things.
My main misgiving was that this piece was more than a bit confusing, and my OCD logician brain makes me unhappy if I don't understand everything. The mystery and confusion may have been necessary for the type of horror @Lizards of Renown was going for or maybe it wasn't. The protagonist went through a portal and was surrounded by weird scary stuff. Okay, "He's in the Chaos realm". An interesting take on the theme. But at the same time the story kept using rat and skaven imagery (even the title made me think of rats in a maze). I wasn't sure if he was in the WHF Chaos realm or a skaven-infested Age of Sigmar world or something else. While all the general horror and creepiness was enticing, none of it felt Nurgle-y, or Khorne-ish, or Hashut-y, or of the Horned Rat. It felt a bit too generic horror and not enough Warhammer for my taste.
Story Two, a Safe Path: This was a very literal take on the contest theme. I have no major misgivings, I eventually voted for this piece.
Just when I started thinking, "my suspension for disbelief is being challenged because there is no way a guide book this useful would just be lying around" it is revealed that the whole thing is an elaborate con. A well executed twist ending.
I like well executed twist endings but I rarely vote them. I voted for this piece because this story did not rely entirely on the surprising ending. I liked the characters' voices and personality. I liked that a solid story was told in a relatively small word count, very impressive pacing and structure @Killer Angel.
Story Three, Game Over: A conventional take on the theme. I don't have much specific feedback but this was solid piece @Imrahil wrote, and I considered voting for. I ultimately had to take it off my voting short list for relatively petty reasons.
In some ways, this piece was conventional. There were thirty previous short story contests and most of the contests have one (or more) short stories about a treasure seeking adventure party gradually getting whittled down by the dangers of the jungle and its inhabitants. The fact that this story type is familiar was not a problem, I like a classic. I've also read enough of this story type to recognize skilled writing. It's got got well paced mini-action scenes, good narrarative descriptions, and the characterization combining the protagonist's pragmatism and desperation in equal measure is well woven into the narrative.
I really liked the circular ending at the end of the piece. It captures the essence of pre-Age of Sigmar Lustrian explorer stories.
Could have used a little bit more editing. A little bit more paragraph spacing to avoid giant blocks of text. Maybe a bit more personal character voices. Maybe a little bit of explanation for how and why the other explorers followed the narrators direction. No big problems, but I had to eliminate this piece from my short list for something.
Story Four, "Extracts from ‘Life and Death in the Mortal Realms'": This piece had a good character voice and it filled in more than a few holes in Age of Sigmar lore. I was entertained but was not tempted to vote for @Y'ttar Scaletail's piece.
It was interesting narrative, but it didn't feel like I was reading a traditional short story with a clear beginning, middle, and end. If you have read my previous critiques, that is a big thing for me.
Story Five, Behind the Mountain: Ultimately, my last short list was between this and Story Two. I almost voted for this. I liked the idea of an exploration story not focused on exploration itself, but it focused on the yearning for the unknown. It was very humanizing for the Lizardmen.
I am always interested in "Slice of Life" stories of Lizardmen life. This piece had conflict and emotional stakes even though it didn't have physical conflict or life or death battles. The conflict was between the conflicting inner drives (duty, instinct, and intellect) that define Lizardmen and that always appeals to me.
The twist ending where the piece rapidly became less mundane and more sci-fi at the end mildly bugged me given that my heart was with the mundane aspects of a desire for exploration. That's why I ultimately ended up voting for Story Two though I don't fault @thedarkfourth for putting epic fantasy in a fantasy story. I had to pick some reason to break the tie between this piece and Story Two.
Slann
Killer Angel
Prophet of the Stars
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