Fiction Imrahil's short stories

[Imrahil]

A word from the author:

At first I had the idea to link the theme to a story about seasons or the cycles of the moon and Lizardmen worshiping the Old One of the moon. But no structure for a story came to me. After putting that aside I focused on putting a cycle within the story itself.
This resulted in my entry.

Me reviewing me:

This story takes us to a classic treasure hunt in Lustria. We find ourselves in the middle of the escape of the protagonist from whatever he just robbed. He is being shot at by blowdarts, but he managed to get away. In his escape he lost the treasure, but he is smart enough not to tempt faith in going back.
Finding his way out he is confronted with his treasure again. This second time he fell for the temptation and decided to get it back. In doing so the conditions from the start of the story are met again. The line “He felt like he had been running for a decade.” the first time feels like an exaggeration to show how exhausted he is, but the second time it hits differently and it might not be an exaggeration…

A weak point in my story is for me the memory of the protagonist... somehow he does not remember that the sequence is starting over every time.
I am not sure if you all feel that way too, or that it is not that significant to make the story work?

Grrr, !mrahil

 

[Imrahil]

Words of review:

“What Goes Around, Comes Around” – A Jungle Joke with Teeth

Some stories deliver their theme with subtle metaphor. This one chases the reader through the undergrowth, pelts them with darts, and drags them back to square one by the scruff of the neck. What Goes Around, Comes Around is a neat, circular thrill-loop — a tale built on repetition, disorientation, and the grim humour of perfect inevitability.

It’s tidy, sharp, and thematically spot-on. The story demonstrates the theme of “Cycles” not with philosophy or symbolism but with structure: a literal loop that swallows its protagonist whole. And that final repeated line, that the dreaded moment he discovers the satchel is missing again? It lands like the punchline of a very cruel joke.

Thanks for your review. I that you picked up on my idea with the story
Through your review I noticed that the Coin's Spin probably would be yours: ... not with philosophy or symbolism

It is a shame there are not more reviews done or shared

Grrr, !mrahil

 

[Imrahil]

This is my story for the January-February 2026 Short story contest

The theme was: 'Hope and/or Despair'

My entry:

The Dragon Isles archives - Condensed Chaos arrived

2382 IC, Sea of Dread, near the Dragon Isles​

In the middle of stretched out dark blue-green-ish waters of the Sea of Dread reside a couple of green overgrown isles. Like specks of green in a bucket of blue paint. The longer Gorzharr Flintcleaver stared at the growing shoreline and dense vegetation ahead of him the more anger flamed inside of him.
Even the air held paint-like aromas, a heavy smell of iron and lead filled his nostrils. Gorzharr was standing upon the deck of a giant floating engine of war, a ship built to conquer and bring home the spoils of war. Around him scurried several Goblin labourers and a few Orcs, getting the ship ready to land soon. Above him in the sky a rain of sparks caught by the wind were distributed all over the deck and around the ship. Remnants of a powerful magical shield that encapsulated the isles in front of them. The Sorcerer, Hazhkatur Ashmouth, countered it with his destructive magic spells and had been able to force an entry for the fleet to pass through.

+++++++

2382 IC, The Dragon Isles, overseeing the Sea of Dread​

In the middle of the island covering deep green jungle a pair of bright yellow eyes in a blue scaled face looked silently upon the specks of grey in the water in front of him. They grew bigger with the minute.
On top of the specks a plume of smoke is signaling the others behind it to follow. A rain of sparks fall on top and around them, as the magical barrier is broken. The dome that had protected his home for years and years.

+++++++

Gorzharr was told the stories of the Dragon Isles and how the Lizardmen had come from the Southlands. How they had taken over the Isles and created a magical barrier to keep all other species out.
In his opinion, which is the popular opinion among the Dawi, the Isles belong to the Chaos Dwarfs, gifted to them by the Father of Darkness. A mighty gift, full of resources. The mountains, the rich and old, very old ground would hold treasures unmatched.

+++++++

Xenal-Kekuil had been told the stories of the Condensed Chaos from the Dark lands. Lord Krazpet’optl, may the Old Ones watch over his soul, warned them time and time again for the ravaging drive and unending hunger for power that fueled these creatures. The magical barrier was put up to keep them out, to preserve nature and keep the Isles safe. It was the Old Ones’ will that the Lizardmen inhabited these isles.

+++++++

The fleet steered towards the only visible landing spot on the first island in front of them. “BRROUMGH!!!” A heavy rumble and loud growl filled the air as the Dreadquake Mortar on deck fired a shell at the jungle’s edge just next to the landing. Gorzharr’s ears rang with a high pitching sound. His hearing came back just as the ship landed at the island. More on instinct than by order the Chaos Dwarf warriors formed a formation and made ready to embark. Heavy burning vegetation, left of the landing, gave away the arrival of the Dawi and their intent.
Units of Hobgoblins were the first to enter the jungles, scout the way ahead and eliminate possible small dangers. Every few minutes one of the Hobgoblins returned to report to the Dwazi Sorcerer in charge of this expedition.
When no report was sent back the army knew which direction to expect danger and act accordingly, without remorse over the lost Hobgoblins.

While the reports kept coming the army took responsibility in unloading the digging equipment and machines. The work progressed like a well-oiled machine, hardened over time and precision honed by experience.
The Hobgoblins kept appearing from the tree line regularly. The interval of their appearances became longer and longer, meaning they made progress without much struggles.

+++++++

Overviewing the bay Xenal-Kekuil noticed multiple flashes of bright light on top the grey specks below. Objects hurled through the sky towards the shore accompanied by a visible shockwave of sound.
“BRROUMGH!!!” sounded loud through the dense jungle and hit the Lizard’s ears at the same time as the projectiles hit the coastal vegetation, engulfing it in flames.
The day he dreaded for ages had arrived. Xenal-Kekuil retreated from his position, back through the overgrown city. Duty called.

+++++++

Down at the coast the army organized itself straight towards the heart of the isle. No Hobgoblin had appeared for a while from that direction. Magma canon in front, the army started tracking the route the Hobgoblin scouts had taken. Searing heat went before them, burning a path through the jungle for the army to follow. Wildlife fled left and right.

+++++++

Dull footsteps sounded between the overgrown ziggurats, empty barracks and dried out spawning pools. Xenal-Kekuil ran to the western gates of the once thriving city. The spawning pools quieted down after the death of Lord Krazpet’optl, the city lost government and primal instincts took over all inhabitants. All Lizardmen were drawn to the jungle itself abandoning houses and temples. He himself would roam in the city’s confines hoping and praying to the Old Ones for a change.

He ran up the stairs at the left of the gate, up in the gatehouse to the top floor. Along the outside of the gatehouse a two feet wide enclosed channel was carved through the decorated stones. At the top of the channel the diameter narrowed to a two inch opening.
Just before he put his lips at the opening a thought slipped in his mind:

“Change has come.”

Xenal-Kekuil closed his eyes, breathed in and blew through the opening.

… to be continued

Grrr, !mrahil

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[Imrahil]

Some words of the author:

I had a hard time to get up with a story involving the small chaos folk and matching it with Lizardmen. It took some time to work through the Lore of the Dwarves to find an angle for a story. In doing so I found the Dragon Isles just of the coast of the Dark Lands. Once a Lizardmen territory now overgrown and bewildered isles.
The CD in their expansion drift and search for resources, the remaining Lizardmen aware and ready to protect the jungle.
The idea of two sides of history was what triggered the double sided story.
As expected I ran out on time to give the story a proper ending. I did not want to rush an ending so decided on a
"to be continued"

Grrr, !mrahil

 

[Imrahil]

Words from others:

Spoiler: Story one - The Dragon isles archives The story presents itself with a classic structure of diary-like narration, set by various frames that cover different pov's through the passing of time.
A classic structure is good if well balanced and narrated, a thing our author is able to do. Despite some maybe too short exposition is pretty clear what's going on and we always have the whole picture developing in front of us.
Few words, neat result. Maybe this shortened development of the protagonists don't let us readers to identify in the main characters, a thing which imo detracts a lot from this piece.

Regarding the main theme, let's say that i've really liked the standardized nonchalanche used by the leader of the Chaos Dwarfs in the employment of the hobgoblins' scouts. Their death will sign the way.

Of course, the elephant in the room is that this is just a prologue (?), which is to be continued. It sucks in a short story challenge, the stories are expected to be ready to be consumed in all their entirety.
This will lead me to just two options:
1) i'm not going to vote for it just for that
2) i'm going to vote for it because i wouldnt want to discriminate an otherwise interesting piece

Story One: Heh…heheheh..heh…’condensed chaos’ that’s actually such a fun way to write the theme without actually saying it within the story piece. Well…Chaos Dwarfs are actually used but well, I thought it was funny regardless.

The author of this piece has nailed the PoV switches from both sides, with enough drift and point of reference from both (BRROUMGH!!!) to keep them tied together with the narrative stitching. Everything builds up in tension until the final PoV…and…to be continued?!

Gah!

This is a great piece, but generally cliffhangers/to be continued endings do not fare well in these competitions. Which is a shame as it is a far better piece than I imagine the votes will seem to paint it as.

Story One (The Dragon Isles archives - Condensed Chaos arrived): I like alternating narrators as a style of telling stories, ESPECIALLY when telling Warhammer Fantasy stories because there is a wealth of lore of factions and characters to draw upon. This piece was well-polished, and it set the stakes well. I would like to see where this story is going.

We've been doing the Short Story contest for a long time, and "Part One" or "to be continued" style stories are pretty common. I would say we get one per contest playing this sort of "Jazz". To my recollection, sometimes Jazzy pieces win, but we have never had a "Part One" style story ever win, maybe a couple made it to runner up. Sometimes the author continues the story, but usually not. I'm betting most authors have intentions to complete the story but lose enthusiasm when they get bottom or near the bottom of voting tally.

Lets say I bring a French Onion soup to a chili cookoff. It could best French Onion soup the world has ever seen, but it's not going to win a chili cookoff because it's not chili.

I'm a stickler for literary rules, but I'm guessing most others are not sticklers for the literary rules, but they subconsciously like to see things follow literary rules. The problem is, this is not a short story. It's an intro to a novelette. This piece is very well-written and I'd like to see more, but it's not a short story.

Thank you all for your kind words, it was good to see the story and it structure was well perceived. Not doing great in voting was somewhat expected since it was not a completed story. Nonetheless good points to take away and thanks to @Killer Angel for the one vote

I might write a conclusion to the story though, some time.

Grrr, !mrahil

 

[Killer Angel]

I might write a conclusion to the story though, some time.

Grrr, !mrahil

I hope so!