Fiction Imrahil's short stories

[Imrahil]

Needless to say, i've appreciated your piece.

Well thank you very much

here is what you said about it in your review:

What i've said before, it applies also here: this one is the typical formula: a sort of exposure in diary form, show a slow but inexcapable descent to despair and hopelessness, with the fool warmbloods that die one by one. I like that we're following a search for the sources of the amaxon river, the lustrian version of the search for the Nile's sources. I liked very much the descriptions of all the places, it's imo the best part of the story, all of them were very vivid. Not a great fan of the ending, but not for the idea in itself... it's just that the phrase "game over" is an expression that broke my suspension of disbelief, as i find it rooted in our culture, rather the the popular culture of the old world. And devil lies in the details, when you have only one vote

I am wondering what made you overcome the phrasing: "Game Over" ?

Grrr, Imrahil

 

[Killer Angel]

I am wondering what made you overcome the phrasing: "Game Over" ?

Grrr, Imrahil

because even if annoying it was a detail... and also all the other stories suffered from imperfections.
In the end, your piece gave me the feeling of travelling a part of Lustria as a first-time warblood explorer, so (even if i was torn) it was the overall mood that won.

 

[Imrahil]

because even if annoying it was a detail... and also all the other stories suffered from imperfections.
In the end, your piece gave me the feeling of travelling a part of Lustria as a first-time warblood explorer, so (even if i was torn) it was the overall mood that won.

That makes me happy to hear Thanks
(I need to think about details henceforward )

Grrr, Imrahil

 

[Imrahil]

A late review by @Scalenex , but really appreciated:

Story Three, Game Over: A conventional take on the theme. I don't have much specific feedback but this was solid piece @Imrahil wrote, and I considered voting for. I ultimately had to take it off my voting short list for relatively petty reasons.

In some ways, this piece was conventional. There were thirty previous short story contests and most of the contests have one (or more) short stories about a treasure seeking adventure party gradually getting whittled down by the dangers of the jungle and its inhabitants. The fact that this story type is familiar was not a problem, I like a classic. I've also read enough of this story type to recognize skilled writing. It's got got well paced mini-action scenes, good narrarative descriptions, and the characterization combining the protagonist's pragmatism and desperation in equal measure is well woven into the narrative.

I really liked the circular ending at the end of the piece. It captures the essence of pre-Age of Sigmar Lustrian explorer stories.

Could have used a little bit more editing. A little bit more paragraph spacing to avoid giant blocks of text. Maybe a bit more personal character voices. Maybe a little bit of explanation for how and why the other explorers followed the narrators direction. No big problems, but I had to eliminate this piece from my short list for something.

Grrr, !mrahil

 

[Imrahil]

This is my story for the October-November 2022 Short story contest

The Theme was: 'Named Character(s)'

My entry:

Captured in stone

A vast green sea of canopies stretched to either side of the horizon. Interrupted here and there by peaks of various Temple Cities, placed in a precise pattern along the Geomantic web. In the middle of this jungle sight a part of the trees was covered by thick clouds. According to the lines of the web there had to be a city at that exact location. And yes it was.
Underneath the mists a city resided, one almost identical to most Temple Cities: a combination of barracks, animal shelters, spawning pools and lesser ziggurats positioned orderly around a great Temple Ziggurat.
Xlanhuapec, the City of Mists. Due to the permanent clouds the city was only lit by diffuse daylight or, during the night, bathing in the shines of hundreds upon hundreds of torches.

The inside of the main ziggurat consisted of many hallways, stairs and chambers. Skinks franticly walking in and out, bringing items around or cleaning up. Just one of the chambers, in the heart of the ziggurat, had a door and it was closed firmly. From the hallway you might not even notice it was a door, because no handle or doorknob was to be found. It could only be opened from the inside. The name of this room: The Eternity Chamber.
Slann Lords of Xlanhuapec isolate themselves inside this room to meditate on the Great Plan and communicate with Slann Lords of other Temple Cities via the lines of the Geomantic Web. The door only opens if the Slann has a message to proclaim on the city’s inhabitants.
The last time this occurred had been thirty-two years ago. After the proclamation the Slann had returned to the chamber accompanied by his trusted bodyguard and protector Chakax, Greatest of Saurus Guards and the most unmoving lizard known within the entire New World.

Periods of meditation between proclamations stretch for years and years, a skink is blessed to even receive one revelation during its lifetime. These extensive years of silence and a closed Eternity Chamber result in speculations about what is really happening behind that door. Is the Slann Lord really meditating all those years? And what is the honored Eternity Warden doing in the meantime?

----

Flashes of blue and green alternate continuously, even easily visible with closed eyes. Chakax opened one of his eyes. In front of him a palanquin floated in the middle of the chamber. Around it swirls of blue and green, enclosing the palanquin and the meditating Slann Lord Hua-Hua on top of it in a giant ball of spiritual energy. Chakax closed his eye again: Nothing out of the ordinary.

Deadly silence laid heavy on the octagon shaped room. All eight walls lacked windows so no outside disturbances could interfere with the meditation. Also no daylight could enter the room, shifting of days and night, even time itself, had no influence in here. Most of the time the room was lid by one torch right beside the entrance or the Spiritual outbursts that the meditation process produced.
Shelves adorned four of the walls, on them stood carefully carved round stones with a flat bottom in different sizes. Ranging from a few stones the size of a human skull down to almost hundreds the size of a Skinks’ tooth.

Chakax took a deep breath and opened his eyes again. He stood in front of a stone table with two chairs. The surface of the table was carved in a flowing form resembling a landscape with hills, lakes and rivers. On a couple of points pyramids showed the location of Temple Cities. Around the pyramids a gross of small stones was placed neatly among two or three bigger ones. At the edge of the tables landscape a dozen big stones lined up.
Chakax moved the stones from the edge towards the middle a couple of inches, closing in around one of the Temple Cities. After moving the last big stone he moved to the other side of the table to move the stones within the Temple City to face the incoming ones. From the one of the hills a group of nine stones attached on little wooden sticks came in behind the big threat.
Chakax grabbed something out of the satchel hanging from his hip. He swung his hand over the table whilst opening it and nine six-sided stones rolled over the table showing different glyphs on each of the six sides. After inspecting the cubes he growled and took away one of the incoming treats to the Temple City.

In the middle of the chamber the Blue and Green energy flickered shortly, but restored again.

Grrr, !mrahil

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[Imrahil]

A word from the author:

As I mentioned in one of my reviews I thought about the theme and directly about Chakax. First I would have liked to get Skinks discussing about what he would be doing in the Eternity Chamber during the meditative periods from the Slann. Somehow I could not make it work for me.
Then I decided to write one possibility out as if that was actually happening. Chakax concentrating on a make-shift solitary table top wargame
All of us have had that period of lockdown and not having someone to play a proper wargame.

I really like to write descriptive parts of a story and find it hard to write a conversation that has a good flow. In this story I totally avoided the conversations. Perhaps next time.

Grrr, !mrahil

 

[Imrahil]

Reviews about the story:

Captured in stone
not full comedy, but still a light hearted piece, that begins with a serious tone. It's about the long meditations by slaans in their inner chambers, cloacked in mistery, while the faithful Saurus Guards are on duty and nothing can distract them. What happens in those chambers? what kind of thoughts cross the minds of their guardians, and especially a guardian as famous as Chakax himself?
Well, it seems that when things are going smoothly, Chakax enjoy himself playing a sort of solitaire chess game... a very mundane hobby, certainly not the kind of things that one imagines from such a glorious figure. You cannot stand on attention for years, after all. In the end, a nice piece that manages to tell its story in a short amount of sentences, which is a good thing.

Thank you for your review

Spoiler: Story Four: Oh my, that was some delicious narration and top-tier descriptive work...i’m a little jealous! The pacing of this piece is perfectly slow to match the overall theme of the story, perfectly chosen.

No words are spoken and very little actually happens in this short piece. And yet, you get a lot of the feeling of the Temple City, of the chamber, and of Chakax himself. This type of writing is not always popular and compared to some of the more energetic pieces in this competition it will likely be outshone. I for one wish there was a little more to the sequence of Chakax playing the wargame against himself just to clarify it a little more and give a little more depth to is character.

Regardless, this writer-thing in a brief story conveyed so much. Thank you.

Thanks for your kind words

Grrr, !mrahil

 

[Imrahil]

This is my story for the January-February 2023 Short story contest

The Theme was: 'Dinosaurs'

My entry:

A day to be grateful

Jungle surrounding Tlaxtlan, Lustria
8th of Jahrdrung, 1549 IC/1.17.10.5.15.18. 11 Etz’nab’ 1 Xul​

On the east side of the vast and dense jungle, just before the spectral blue that is the great ocean, laid a glistering coast with little to none high vegetation. From the point where the waves crush upon the coastline to the jungle’s edge, roughly three miles land inwards, stretched a sandy plain, now resting in the morning sunlight.

A couple of miles beyond the jungle’s edge, two skinks walked slowly between the trees dragging a large bag mad out of palm leaves behind them. “How much further do you think we need to go, Tak’ek Muntoc?”
“The priest said to drop it off at the beginning of the sand plains, so it will be at least two more miles.”
“I sure hope it will be possible for us to move back in time.” Said Qu’ Tuazl nervously.
Tak’ek Muntoc looked at him and nodded: “The more reason to pull a bit harder.”
They dragged the bag for a mile more in silence, purely focusing on the task at hand. It was Qu’ Tuazl again that broke the silence: “I still don’t completely understand why we are doing this.”
“What is there to understand? This is a tradition that we practice year in year out.”
“I know that much, but are we doing this just because it is a tradition? What is the reason this is a tradition? I mean, not that I am ungrateful for being one of the chosen for this year’s tribute duty, but why are we doing this exactly?”
Tak’ek Muntoc stopped and let go of the bag. “Well okay, sit down and listen!” he replied agitated. After taking a couple of deep and calming breaths he continued: “You are familiar with the history of the arrival of the warmbloods at our doorstep, I presume?” He looked over to his spawning brother and continued without expecting an answer to his rhetorical question. “It all started fifty-seven years ago in this very region. Not long after the warmbloods had set foot on, what they now refer to as, Colombo’s Island. The settlement of Santa Magritta was just formed and consisted only of one dock and three houses.
Although small in numbers, the warmbloods did not keep to the island alone. Soon they travelled along the Scorpion’s Coast to discover new places and resources.

So it came to be that on the sandy plain beside the jungle the activities and voices of the warmbloods filled the air. Houses were built and soil was prepared to start farmlands.

Skink patrols set out more frequently to keep a close eye on the situation and reported back to Tlaxtlan.

The warmbloods, that settled, spawned warmbloods that were adventurous. The later were more curious in nature than the first and even made trips into the jungle.
The observing patrols were pulled further back to avoid confrontation. The Slann did not find the warmbloods worthy of interaction in any way, shape or form.

Loud noises of the breaking of wood and disrupting of earth however alerted them that something was going wrong. The patrols of skinks rushed forward inspect and stand at the ready to protect the jungle from destruction. When they arrived at the jungle’s edge they noticed that the jungle didn’t need protection, but that the jungle provided protection itself. A pair of Therizinosaurs had emerged from their safe cover of vegetation and roamed freely in the village, breaking down houses and killing warmbloods that did not manage to get away in time. Those that did, gathered at the coastline and franticly reached for the boats. They rowed back to Santa Magritta.
In the aftermath of the rampage the Therizinosaurs kept walking around the once village and did not move back to the jungle. The skink patrols now moving in inspected the ruins and found, in what had been the village’s storage, a big crate lined with straw and packed with five Therizinosaur eggs. To restore the order and make the Therizinosaurs feel at ease again the Skinks transported the eggs back to their nests just beyond the treeline. And to this day no more warmbloods come to this side of the jungle.”

Tak’ek Muntoc stopped to notice the bland face of Qu’ Tuazl.
“So that is why we are grateful towards the Therizinosaurs on this day!” he over emphasized with his hands. The blandness of Qu’ Tuazl’s face faded. “We better bring them this year’s tribute then.”

After a last mile they dropped the bag at the jungle’s edge. Unfolding the leaves and revealing the tribute, consisting of a variety of fruits, plants and flowers. Both of the skinks stepped back about twenty feet and waited quietly. They didn’t have to wait long before a pair of Therizinosaurs was attracted by the tribute and started eating. As Qu’ Tuazl and Takék Muntoc turned around to go home a few younger Therizinosaurs joined.

Grrr, !mrahil

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[Imrahil]

A word from the author:

Not long ago I first heard of the Therizinosaur. Upon researching I found this image:



Somehow this made me think about a turkey. This gave me the idea of my story. For what I know about Thanksgiving (being from the Netherlands and not the USA) is that the locals got interested in the settlers and they on their turn invited them over to have a festive meal including turkey meat.

My take would be the 'turkey' getting rid of the settlers for the locals. Hence the Therizinosaurs destroying the village and scaring of the settlers, with now interference from the Lizardmen.

Grrr, !mrahil

 

[Imrahil]

Words from others:

A Day to Be Grateful

• no Chaos Dwarfs content

Totally correct

Story two: A Day to Appreciate

A mundane story, probably my fav. of the bunch

Pros: a celabration day, lived by the protagonists almost as a routine job. I liked the explanation of why it is necessary to do many apparently nonsense things. The narration gives us enough actions even without any real one. Usually i tend to shun the whole "feeding infos to the reader", but in this case it was functional to the piece, so it works well. And a loveable ending with little Therizinosaurs.

Cons: it's basically like watching a pleasant movie, but with no identification in the protagonists

Thanks for your review, made me happy to see you received it as a feel good movie

Story Two: Ok, big respect for working out and putting down the date. I did a quick check and it was indeed 1492 when Marco Colombo discovered Lustria.

A good portion of this piece is dialogue between the two Skinks with some nice little characterisations placed in there to differentiate them and give reason for Tak’ek to tell the story of why they are doing this tradition. There is nothing grand, large-scale action, or world changing in this piece. It is a small slice of history and the life within Lustria. And I love that. I will say an extra proofread and tweaking of paragraph spacing may have helped a little. But what a lovely and adorable story.

Thanks, it took some calculation before I was sure about the date, but when I use a date it has to be correct if only for myself. I spotted some things as well, I might be helped with proofreading indeed.

Story Two “A Day to Be Grateful For”: I really like how this story made a piece about dinosaurs eating humans seem wholesome. I also have a fondness for “Slice of Life” stories where Skinks, Sauri, or Kroxigor are doing something routine like herding llama or fetching items, yet character and lore is revealed.


Generally, I like short word counts as it demonstrates an efficient writer, but I would have liked this piece to be longer. Therizinosaurs: more please. Since this is the basis of the story, I want more. What do they look like? What do they sound like? What do they smell like? How do they move? How do their pack dynamics works? How big are they? What do techniques and natural weapons to they slay evil humans with? What kind of food is in the Skink’s bag? The Skinks didn’t seem the least bit threatened by the Therizinosaurs. Why? Do the Therizinosaurs recognize that the Skinks bring food with some kind of eager Pavlovian response?

Thank you for your words. Some more flavor would have made for a better story for sure, but a full breakdown of the creature and his habits and habitat might slow down the story to much. The content of the bag is described in the end as: a variety of fruits, plants and flowers.
Good points to keep an eye on for future stories.

Grrr, !mrahil

 

[Imrahil]

This is my story for the April-May 2023 Short story contest

The Theme was: 'War and Peace'

My entry:

Fire Within and Fire Without

Suddenly all sounds grew silent. Xithu-otl found himself submerged, floating beneath a liquid surface. Although freezing cold, the equal pressure from all sides gave him the impression of weightlessness.
Xithu-otl was extracted from the heat of battle that was roaring above him. His thoughts transported him back to the first time he felt like this: a lifetime ago, he did recall having witnessed light for the first time. Coming at him from the other side of the surface that separated him from the world above.

The difference this time was his inner motivation. Back then eagerness to discover the other side, now a burning flame to right the wrongs and fight the foes of the Great Plan.

The flame took hold of his mind and body, spreading a warm fire through his every vein and muscle. It activated him to emerge through the surface once again.
At the breaking of the water all sounds came over him like a waterfall.
The roaring and hissing of lizards, dinos, deamons and bloodletters made the air vibrate and the earth tremble. Hellfire and dark magic was answered with javelin showers and Star power.
Climbing from the freezing water Xithu-otl took position beside the closest Engine of the Gods. Charging from it's eternal energies he conjured a magic shield around a unit of Skins with blowpipes to give them at least one or two more volleys of poisonous darts.

Fifty feet to his right a giant cloud of ash and smoke poured down from the sky. The smell of sulfur and charcoal instantly clogged his nostrils, causing him to drop his spell.
From within the dark cloud a set of wings spanned wide and an ax came forth slicing through a unit of hardened Saurus Warriors like a sacrificial knife through a rat-man's throat.
Xithu-otl looked over his shoulder at the Polar Gate, only a mile away by now. It was still untouched by Chaos. Guarded by a dozen priests, both retaining a magic shield and others preparing a destruction spell for if the worst was to come.

The sudden burst of air and sound of flapping wings brought Xithu-otl's attention back to his right flank as the greater deamon took to the sky. Two flocks of Ripperdactyls swept down at it without hesitation. Two-third of them ended up on the ground trampled by the deamon's hooves when he was forced back down from the impact. One of his wings was damaged so heavily that he discarded it with his own ax.
No longer able to fly he brutally stormed forward through the ranks of lizards swingend his ax left and right whilst simultaneously conjuring a fireball with his other hand. The blazing ball of hellish fire struck the magic shield around the portal. A dome of blue energy flickered as the flames got deflected in different directions. The knees of two of the priests buckled under the impact of the clash. The shield might not hold long under many more of those hits.

Xithu-otl started hastily moving backwards to the gate keeping constant visual on the greater deamon. Halfway he paused to take a deep breath, turned an open hand towards the fiend and projected magic missiles directly at him. Four of them hit him, two on his chest, one in his armpit and one on his neck. Spitting out his last foul words he was blasted asunder. Xithu-otl sounded a sigh of relief, leaning on his staff he waited a couple of seconds to regain some strength.
Above him the gray cloudy sky showed five streams of dark heavy clouds pouring down towards the icy waste lands.

Around Xithu-otl fellow skins and sauri paused their movements awaiting the obvious thread that was coming. The first one struck down about one and a half miles to his left: another greater deamon. The second one three miles in front of him. Just before the dark clouds hit the ground a horde of juggernauts swarmed the field, a stream without end.
The third came down out of sight, the last two streams poured down behind him. In anticipation he ran further towards the gate. He reached it just before a greater deamon and a deamon prince stepped forth out of the gathered darkness. Both had their enchanted weapon drawn, ready to strike.
On the top of his lungs Xithu-otl screamed: "destroy the gate! Don't let them reach it!" Behind him the magic shield pulsed for a last time as the last defensive priests fell to the ground.

With his eyes closed Xithu-otl directed all of his energy at the gate along with the four remaining priests. The ground trembled as the deamons came closer. With his last energy drained Xithu-otl fell to his knees. In front of him the stone structure of the gate cracked and broke in pieces. The gateway flickered twice before it imploded completely. The shockwave of the implosion knocked him over. Again the sounds of battle died away as Xithu-otl took his last breath and closed his eyes, the flame inside quenched.

...

Finally inner peace.

Grrr, !mrahil

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[Imrahil]

A word from the author:

I had a hard time coming up with a story to incorporate both War and Peace in their usual meaning. This led me on the path of a story about inner struggle, but I did not seem to find a way to give war a place in the mind of my protagonist.
Thus landing on War and inner peace as an end result.

Grrr, !mrahil

 

[Imrahil]

Reviews:

Story Two: Warlock Engineer Jekro Tkull (Skaven Warlock Engineer from Albion, was kicked out of Skryre for inventing a Seed Drill, likes playing the flute, wearing the Peace T-Shirt) and Cymbry Hazzien (Astropath Transcendent as part of the Venerari Rogue Trader Dynasty, very pious to a fault, wearing the War T-Shirt)

Cymbry: “Hold on, I may be blind but I notice I’m wearing the war t-shirt and the literal chaos mutant is not.”

Tkull: “Ah but-but ye dinnae understand lassie, much-much of me work was tae aid Skavenkind through thar use-usage of mechanised agriculture...until Skryre realised me seed drill was nay a kill-kill drill...”

Cymbry: “...So you hug trees and I melt minds?”

Tkull: “Ehhh...it be an ove-over-simplication-thing...but close-close enough lassie.”

Cymbry: “...Sigh. Alright. When I channel my powers it is often an act of balance. Being overwhelmed by emotion like anger or sorrow can make you lose control or worse...open a path for something much worse to enter. I can really feel for the foul lizard xenos scum (though I obviously have much better control of myself something none of you xenos, mutants, or heretics could ever achieve – so there!)

Tkull: “I mean-mean, I just-just enjoyed all thar explosive fighting scenes. That final detonation at thar end...ach...it was beautiful. Course, if thar small-little skinkies had old Tkull there and I had-had some prep time...hmm I did have a magic draining cannon-thing that was powered by bound magic users or psykers...”

Cymbry: “...HOW ARE YOU WEARING THE PEACE T-SHIRT?!”

Tkull: “...Bribery and death-death threats...”

Cymbry: “.......Well I am just glad those daemons were cheated of getting that weird gate (sounds Aeldari...) and those lizard xenos probably all died. It’s a win-win to me.”

Tkull: “Squeak-spoken like a troo war t-shirt-thing...”

Cymbry: “...Shut up...”


Oooh! Much action and much visceral description! I love it!

Just the gnarly way that Bloodthirster de-winged itself when its damaged wing impeded it’s progress, wowzers. Mixed with the Priest’s heavily descriptive emotional state of the fire within and then the coolness of inner peace, made this a deep and memorable piece. I feel a little extra proof reading and tweaks would have given this piece the extra bit of polish, but all the same, very well done author-thing!

Thank you very much for your kind words
Good to see it has been received this well.

Spoiler: Story two: Fire Within and Fire Without An action packed story, standing apart from the others, because of the focus more on the war part than on the peace. Loved the ending in which the battle is lost but the Priest has peace with what has been achieved: preventing Chaos to enter the gate. Although the priest endures inner peace (in death) the war is still raging on. I like imagen how this story would be from a different perspective.
Overall a great read.

Not much to disagree with

Story Two, "Fire Within and Fire Without": An interesting take on the theme. Very excellent battle descriptions. The writer took a risk making a Slann the point of view character but that risk seemed to pay off. The Slann was both satisfyingly otherworldly and relatable at the same time.

Minor misgivings. Could have used more spacing and editing. The wording at the end was rang a little weird to me. I understand death is a sort of "eternal peace" but I always considered it to be separate from "inner peace". I always thought you had to be alive and active in order to have "inner peace" because inner peace requires some conflicting outer. If you are not part of a wider world, inner peace is just regular peace isn't it? Then again, my knowledge of inner peace is mostly limited to the Kung Fu Panda franchise which despite what Scolenex says, is probably not the greatest fiction franchise ever made.

Thanks for your review it always helps a lot.

I am curious to hear how you came to the thought of a Slann as the protagonist in the story?
I wrote it with a Skink Priest in mind

The part of inner peace were the Skink Priest's dying thoughts. Knowing they had achieved their goal of stopping Chaos from entering the gate.
All I know about inner peace comes from Kung Fu Panda as well

@Imrahil

Not much of a review, but thanks

Grrr, !mrahil

 

[NIGHTBRINGER]

Not much of a review, but thanks

Grrr, !mrahil

True, but it is factually correct.

 

[Imrahil]

This is my story for the July-August 2023 Short Story Contest

The theme was: 'Hidden in plain sight'

My entry:

Unnoticed presence


Location: Izalend, Thondia, Ghur

The city of Izalend laid silent in the dark, Ulgu had passed its highest point about three hours ago. In a couple of hours Hysh would take its place at the sky and bask the plains of Thondia with light and warmth. Located north-east within Thondia, the most northern region of Ghur, it had been a stronghold at a most tactical position within its direct vicinity. The city was built roughly in the middle of the gap between the Clawing Sea to the east and the roots of the Thunderscorn Peaks to the north-west. The city itself was not that big, it housed roughly fifteen thousand inhabitants including the stationed Free Guild forces. Over the years the numbers had been variable due to the presence of extra regiments of Greatswords, Crossbowmen and Pistoliers in times of rampaging clans of Orruks nearby.

This night the guards patrolled the city walls under a cloudless sky. Koptus was clearly visible at the west horizon gazing upon the walls. The guards walked slowly, their contours backlit by the glow of torches at the streets and buildings, where fellow townspeople were heading home late or getting ready to start their day early. Beauregard, human veteran Freeguild Guard, and Galdir, dwarven Longbeard, patrolled the north-west side of the city during their shift tonight.

“You couldn’t have picked a better night to join me on a shift than this. The sky is calm and the plains are silent.” addressed Beauregard the dwarf next to him. “Hmpff” growled Galdir while he raised his shoulders briefly. After a deadly silent minute, he continued: “It would not have made much of a difference.”
Now it was Beauregard’s turn to raise his shoulders “stubborn folk those dwarves” he seemed to say. They walked along in silence.

On the other side of the city the Great Excelsis Road stretched out eastward like a light grey snake through the dark soil, following the coast. Here and there taken from view by the scares vegetation at this rough seaside. Named properly, because it was the main road leading to the great city Excelsis.

The guards neared the northern gatehouse. The road over here, if you would even call it a road, was the exact opposite of the one to the east. After about fifty feet the regular pavement stopped and made way for a muddy brown path meandering through the landscape to the base of the Thunderscorn Peaks.

Beauregard tried again to start a conversation: “You have been stationed around the mountains before coming here, didn’t you?”
A mere nod with his head was the only reaction he got “that was to be expected”.
“Is it true what they say about the mountains?” he quickly followed up.
“What is?”
“The presence of the lizards from Azyr?”

Galdir sat his shield down and leaned on it while he looked at Beauregard before gazing at the mountains again. “After the Draconith divisions purged the mountains from most of the savage Slaggoths and their Thunderscorn, during the War of Thirteen Peaks, there was a cluster of devastating lightning strikes and earth trembling thunderclaps.”
Beauregard had read about those events in the history registers of the library.

“In the days following these events reports came in of sightings of blue lightning is surging through the mountain range from time to time. There also is the discovering of various stone pillars with interesting detailed icons and masks. The most obvious discovery was of the statues at the road before us, just at the foot of the mountains. The stone statues of lizards with skulls on their heads and shields adorned with different trinkets.”
“Weren’t there icons on the pedestals of these statues as well?”
“Correct!” muttered Galdir.
“I read that Lord-Ordinator Aldelais has inspected them and found that those icons are a tribute to a deity of the lizard folks called Quetzl”
“Correct!” muttered the dwarf again.

“So signs of their existence all-round,” Beauregard concluded as if he had done a thorough investigation. “there are Seraphon living in the mountains.”
“That is easier said than proved.” Growled Galdir at him, “multiple of our units have moved across the Thunderscorn Peaks in every direction visiting every part of it. They left no stone unturned, but there was not a single house or habitat found. Also no real life Lizards were seen.”

****

Seven miles from the city, where the road enters the mountain range a shape shifted on its pedestal. Xenal-kekuil stretched his arms and legs a little before repositioning himself in the same pose he just had come out of.
“You can report back that there is no threat to be seen or expected from this side of the mountain range.”

A smaller scaled shape left the shadow of the pedestal and traveled back into the Thunderscorn Peaks

Grrr, !mrahil


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[Imrahil]

A word from the author:

My goal was to write a story set in the AoS universe. What noticed is: due to not being to emerged in the AoS universe I tent to over explain/describe the surroundings and location. This took the pace out of the story.
Also I am still not that strong in writing dialogues. Something to work on.

Grrr, !mrahil

 

[Imrahil]

Reviews:

Unnoticed presence.
This AoS story revolves all arond the final revelation, and takes its time to drive us readers toward it. The two main characters have distinctive traits, and that's important given that they carry on their shoulders the weight of the story itself. I could point that we all know the "main" characters are also mere narrators, so they don't have a real role outside of that and by this reason,a great part of the story is just an exposure with nothing happening. Apart from that, i liked the overall mood of this piece.
The plus side is that this story have probably the most literal and meaningful approach to the theme "hidden in plain sight".

Thank you for the review

Story three: Unnoticed Presence
An AoS story with not very much action going on. The description of the situation and surroundings is done to great detail and the protagonists are given some good distinctive characters. Interacting with a dwarf asks for an direct and patient approach.
The theme is implemented literally, which I like.

My only drawback is the minimal inclusion of our beloved lizards

Thanks

Story Three:

Hey, a bonifide AoS piece! And in Ghur too! My Astral Templar Knight-Azyros thanks you!

Description was very detailed and on point to the point of being vivid. The pacing whilst slow oozed depth and mayhaps a little baited tension. The reveal at the end was a very nice touch and does really fit in with the stoic statue-like nature of the Seraphon.

I do feel like I wanted a bit more from the Duardin and Human, they serve the role of narrators with some nice little moments of fun characterization. But I feel they could have been much more. Likewise, an extra proof read would have helped iron out this piece.

Nonetheless, this was a nice little look at the mortal realms and how the Seraphon can hide in plain sight.

Thank you for your review.

Grrr, !mrahil

 

[Imrahil]

This is my story for the October-November 2023 Short story contest

The theme was: 'Stranger in a Strange Land'

My entry:

A different place and time

Aetheric void, Temple ship Oyxl, Before the ages​

Darkness, without end.
Nothingness all around. No light, no life. Only what was, and has been, between these walls. Yuq'al-takuil searched the surroundings with his mind. Nothing penetrated the thick dark void around the Temple city turned Temple ship, not even his magical perceptive abilities.
Within the ship magic was roaming freely. The best example of it was the stasis that all Sauri and the non magic wielding Skinks were being kept in. Yuq'al-takuil, together with the other Priests, was taking turns keeping the stasis going in order to preserve the troops and keep the impact on the provisions to a very minimum.

Beside the Skink Priests only the Slann Lord Xruzi’o-Ila was left out of stasis. He was in control of the ship, keeping it afloat in the void, with his mental powers. Simultaneously he scanned the horizons to pick up a glimpse of something, just a single thing that was not dark nothingness.

Since they had escaped the catastrophic events in Lustria, and the world it was a part of, there hadn’t been contact with any other Lizardmen refugees. Neither had there been signs of other Temple ships even making the escape.
Yuq'al-takuil stared in the distance as the chaotic events played out in front of him again.

Footfall behind him pulled him back to the present. “Yuq'al-takuil, your presence is required.” It was Skink Priest Tak’ek Muntoc, he was of the same spawning as him. Although slightly smaller they both saw and treated each other as equals. “I would better not leave him waiting.” he resumed hastily with a smirk.
Yuq’al-takuil turned around with a clearly fake worryful expression on his face before he started laughing: “You are always the punctual lizard, aren’t you? However, I will honor his request.” Both amusingly went their way.

Yuq’al-takuil headed to the Eternity Chamber, the quarters of Lord Xruzi’o-Ila. He walked through the entrance with a little hesitation. Back in Lustria the doors to these quarters were sealed for years on end and heavily guarded from the inside as well. Nowadays the doors stood open and no guards were to be found. Like all other Sauri the Guards were dismissed from their posts and put in stasis, because there was not the slightest disturbance in the years of their voyage.

The inside of the chamber was dark; the only light was a dim blue-ish green hue emanating from the palanquin in the middle of the far wall. On top of the palanquin sat Slann Lord Xruzi’o-Ila, cross-legged, his arms up, elbows out, with his fingertips spread touching either side of his face and eyes closed.
“Please enter, no need to hesitate.” The words sounded without any movement of the lips, like they appeared out of thin air or they welled up in the skinks head itself.
No matter how often the priest experienced this it still felt like an invasion of privacy.

Yuq’al-takuil walked calmly forward with a bowing gesture: “You sent for me, my Lord?”

"Do you feel it?"

"I am not sure what you mean, my Lord."

"I know you feel it too. You can smell it in the air, you can taste it in the water.
The absence of magic on the other side of these walls. The nothingness that surrounds us. It exhausts me, all attempts to reach beyond it are fruitless.
The Geomantic web is no more, no web means no nodes, no nodes mean no connection, no connection means no information, no inform...."

The smashing of rock against stone interrupted the conversation loudly paired with heavy trembling of the whole chamber.
In an instant the Slann Lord moved his hands from his head in front of his mouth, fingertips touching each other. A bright orange radiant orb grew in between his hands as he moved them apart and now his lips did move: "Warning to all priests! Collision in progress. Be prepared to repair hull damage!"

Another slam shocked the Temple ship with an even louder grinding of stone and rock. Yuq'al-takuil looked above him in the chamber as a crack formed and widened across the ceiling. Glimmering black shards of rock shot through the cracks raining down upon Yuq'al-takuil and Xruzi’o-Ila. In a reflex the skink priest stepped aside and casted Mystic Shield above them, but the shards broke through like there was no shield at all. One of the shards struck the shoulder of the Slann. With a cry of pain the blue-ish green hue dimmed, leaving the room completely darkened.
“Lord Xruzi’o-Ila!” No imediate response: “Lord Xruzi’o-Ila! Are you okay?"
A soft pain filled moaning was all that he heard. “My Lord, how badly are you hurt?”
“Hhhrrrmm… my shoulder…. ugh… pierced, but no … hhhmm… internal organs are damaged.”
“Please hold still while I cast a mending spell.” Yuq’al-takuil raised his arm and turned his wrist whilst soft green energy dispatched from his fingers in a swirl. The light showed the Slann Lord fallen from his palanquin with a torn shoulder, the black shard glimmering at his feet. Yuq’al-takuil directed the spell towards the wound, but all of a sudden the energy was swept away from its path and absorbed by the black shard.
“Excuse me lord, I will try it again.” The priest repeated the motions, but with a similar result.
“What kind of rock is this?”
“Anti magic matter,” mumbled the Slann, “I have heard of its existence… hhhgg… before, but hadn't yet encountered it… ugh”.
“Anti magic?” pondered the priest “do you mean that it negates all magic it comes across? But how is that possible? And how do we get rid of it? And…”
“Calm down Yuq’al-takuil, one step at the time.”

Frantic steps sounded down the hallway growing louder and louder. In a hurry Tak'ek Muntoc ran around the corner into the darkened chamber. "What happened here!?"
"Lord Xruzi’o-Ila has been struck by a shard of anti magic matter." Answered Yuq'al-takuil. "Struck by what?"
"I know, I can't get my head around it either, but let us help him and mend his wounds."
"Yes, of course, healing…" “No, that will not help at all!” Yuq’al-takuil responded “I tried it, but the rock absorbed the healing spell. We need to get him out of the chamber or see to his wounds in the traditional style”
Since the light in the chamber had died the palanquin had collapsed onto the floor as well. The Slann Lord lay in between the rumble on the floor. Both Skink Priests stumbled towards him only guided by their touch and hearing. After a while they flanked him, each on one side, and tried to lift him up with no success. After a couple of attempts they settled on dragging him instead.
Once outside of the chamber the Priests saw the wound clearly. Now, further away from the Anti magic rocks, the healing spells did take hold and mended the wounds of the Slann Lord nicely.

"Thank you both for your help" Lord Xruzi’o-Ila replied, still visibly in pain: "what is our status Tak’ek Muntoc?"
"The hull damage and breach seems to be limited to the Eternity Chamber, all the stasis Chambers are still operational and no other citizens were wounded." Tak’ek hesitated a little before continuing: "... there is one thing though, that is why I came up to the Eternity Chamber to see you, your highness. The ship has lost its course. We are no longer floating."
Yuq'al-takuil and Lord Xruzi’o-Ila looked at eachother and only now noticed the small shift in angle that the ship had made.
"The impact must have redirected us and your ability, your highness, to stabilize the ship must have been taken by the shard that struck you"
"So we are no longer floating hmmm?" Pondered the Slann staring straight ahead. He closed his eyes and tried to raise his hands to the sides of his face. He immediately regretted it as a shockwave of pain swelled from his left shoulder.
"My powers have been drained. I can't take control of this ship again." He sighed in disbelief, but spoke again: "if we are no longer floating it means we are either sinking or falling."
While he spoke a third Skink came running down the hallway. It was a Starseer, appointed to scan the horizon for visible changes. "Your highness, your highness. There is a speck of light at the horizon. It has a green hue and is approaching fast. What should we do?"
Both the Priests looked at each other before looking at their Slann Lord. They head his words as if they were not right there beside him.

"We will need to brace for impact. Tell all priests to move to the lowest chambers and prepare a levitating spell. With all the power that we can muster, we might be able to slow down enough to minimize damage. Leave the posts at the stasis chambers as well. Get all of them and stay at the ready!"
The three skinks ran through the hallway where the Starseer came from to inform all priests and get ready for what was about to happen.

Ghur, Thondia, Thunderscorn Peaks, Age of Myth​

Sounds of battle and roaring of Draconiths and Thunderscorns alike echoing through the mountain range. The shear volume of raw power sends shockwaves through the rock hard ground, loosening stones, causing avalanches left and right. Dark clouds gathered, drifting in from every side as the air got cooler. Suddenly in the middle of it a small circular breach appeared and a flash of blue light struck from the sky down in between the mountains. Leaving an earthquake in its wake.
Since this incident a different roaring was heard between the mountains.

Grrr, !mrahil


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[Imrahil]

A word from the author:

I started this story just before the Theme of the contest was announced. It is the transition story of my Seraphon army. I felt it might work for the theme that was set and thus found some motivation to continue writing it

The ending was written in to much haste, also I had not yet thought of how and what would happen next.

My review said it as well:

Interesting story. Giving shape to the transition between WHFB and AoS. I liked the interaction between the characters. Also the fact that almost all of the Lizardmen are held in stasis chambers portraits that they were ready for this journey. They knew?! I loved the build up in the story, but felt the end was quick and I would have liked a bit more context to it.

Grrr, !mrahil

 

[Imrahil]

The lonely review of my story (not being my own):

Story Six, “A Different Place and Time”: This many years after the introduction of Age of Sigmar we still have stories covering the transition from Lizardmen to Seraphon and I still enjoy reading them. It was well paced and the characters were well fleshed out and found the perfect middle ground between human-like and spirit-like beings.

Maybe this could have been edited a bit cleaner. Some more attention to spacing would have helped. I know this story was mostly about The Journey and The Destination, but I would have liked a little bit more detail about the planet they landed on and what they did in the immediate aftermath of their landing.

Thanks, glad you liked it. I agree on the lack of detail surrounding the landing and the abrupt ending to the story. I somehow couldn't fix it in time.

Grrr, !mrahil