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Fiction Imrahil's short stories

Story 2: Sneaking...

Ahhh... a night at the museum, lizardmen version!
A really nice story and poor Larry was not as lucky as his original counterpart. But this is warhammer.
i like the structure and how the story developes, but there are some things that are unclear... the models ready to be painted don't take life, except apparently for the Slann. Is the model of the Slann summoning (or "mentally projecting") the skinks /lizards in the room dedicated to Mexico exibition? and if yes, why? Why Larry had to die? the reasons behind what happened are cloacked in mystery, but after all only the Slann knows the Plan

The thought was that the Skinks where LOSATed like in game ;) so teleported. The lack of explaining the motives of the Lizardmen was clear to me at the moment I read all the stories to write my own reviews. Just like the people demonstrating outside the skinks went in to retrieve something that rightfully belonged to them, a secret plaque.
Nobody said Larry died, that is what I left for the reader to fill in ;)

Thanks for the review.
I can learn for the next story :)

Grrr, Imrahil
 
Story Two "Sneaking in Shadows": Clever take on the theme. Night at the Museum Lizardmen styles. Good economy of words.

This left some unanswered questions. First and foremost. What did the Lizardmen models that came to life want and what was their relationship with the protestors and the protagonist characters?

Thank you!

The main story line was actually: retrieving what is rightfully yours
The protesters want the Museum to give back the items that are rightfully theirs. part of their heritage.
and the skinks themselves retrieving the plaque that is rightfully theirs.

Larry is just in needed as a mule to get the Lizardmen inside the museum so the Great Plan can be opperated.

Grrr, Imrahil
 
Story 2 scored my second vote because it’s a great parody of one of my favourite films - Night at the Museum - that balances parodying the film with adding some Warhammeriness into it and still delivers an original story.

Although late to the party, I liked your review the most ;)
I thank you very much :happy::happy:

Grrr, Imrahil
 
This is the short story I wrote for the April-May 2021 Short-story competition

The theme was: "Fish out of water"

My entry:

Halls and Mountains

Luthamo looked upon the Great gates in front of him. He hadn’t been here before, he had heard of this place, the tunnels and chambers. It was said that this place holds the most beautiful interior. Great halls with ceilings so high, you couldn’t clearly notice them, the pillars that support it are said to be as high and firm as trees of ages past. The city was always full of life and activity.
Nevertheless he dreaded to go through the gates.

The guards at the gates noticed his hesitation and looked at each other with a grin on their face.
“Look Celethor, we have got a newcomer over there!”
Luthamo caught their gazes and grinning smiles. He dismounted his horse and started walking to the gates. His pride and mission did take the upper hand over his phobia of tunnels and caverns. With his head high and shoulders firm he walked past the guards and acted like he didn’t notice the eyes piercing in his back.

- o - o - o -

Down in one of the rooms adjacent to the great hall, King Thranduil had just started a meeting with his advisers. At the start of the day the weekly ‘Audience to the Throne’ was held, this part of ruling never had been appealing to him. For a couple of years into his reign he deliberately had it renamed from ‘Audience with the King’ to ‘Audience to the Throne’. This way he didn’t need to be there and his most trusted adviser, Idhremben, was hosting the audiences as a substitute since.
Even so this morning, Idhremben had listened to all the complaints and mishap that the people of his realm wanted to out towards the King. Between the usual neighbor’s disagreements and abuse of power by members of the Royal Guard there stood out a couple of cases in which no direct culprit could be pointed out. Normally this wouldn’t concern him that much, because living in the forest meant dealing with wildlife and their comings and goings. But these cases were odd to him. In such a way that he had to consult with the King and his board of advisers about what to do with them.

“Welcome and thanks to all for coming on such short notice.” King Thranduil looked down on his advisers from his elevated throne. The seating was made out of woven willow stems and the top and sides were decorated with the giant antlers of a moose. “we meet today because of some concerns outed by Idhremben after the audiences of this morning. Idhremben, explain.”
Idremben stood up and took a bow towards the King. “Thank you, Majesty.” Now he directed his glance and voice to the advisers.

- o - o - o -

After, so proudly, entering the tunnels to Thranduil’s Halls, Luthamo came almost to a halt. His instincts told him to turn around and leave, but duty and pride prevented him from doing so. Lady Galadriel had made clear to him what the importance of his task was and he would not let her down. Dragging forward one foot after the other he continued in the dim-lighted tunnel. His sharp sighted eyes adjusted quickly to the new surroundings, his ears found it rather difficult to comprehend the way everything around him sounded. Out there in the woods he could spot his surroundings and everything moving in it with his eyes closed, but down here he was disorientated by all sounds bouncing off the walls and echoing from different directions.
Slowly picking up his pace he managed to pass through the first couple of tunnels without making too much of a fool of himself. Suddenly he stopped. What lied in front of him was the much talked about Great hall of Thranduil. He felt like coming up for air after a dive through murky water. The hall was even more spacious than he was led to believe and the shear height of it overwhelmed him. The lighting, though subtle, was of a natural intensity that made him feel at ease. For a second he thought and felt like he was in a very dense forest like some parts of Mirkwood still were.

From aside of the tunnel’s entrance to the hall a Guard saw him and stepped forward and addressed him: “Good afternoon. According to your clothing you are not from around here. And seeing your reaction you haven’t been here before.” he said more welcoming than judging.
“You are correct, my name is Luthamo and I come with a tiding from Lady Galadriel from the woods of Lothlorien.”
“My name is Estendear, head of the Kings Guards.” he said hastily as an excuse, “I will bring you before the advisers. They are gathered as we speak.”

- o - o - o -

“Why would we act on rumors that happen far from our gates?” it was Lhingnith, minister of treasury, who spoke, “setting up an excursion to investigate this is like throwing gold and silver in the river, we will not gain anything with it! On top of things: these Elves, laying their concerns on us, did choose to live outside the borders of the city themselves”
Idhremben stood up: “The problem is that if these rumors are true we will not stand a chance if we are not prepared. I highly recommend we…”
A loud bang on the door interrupted the adviser’s plea. Thranduil nodded to the guards at the door to see who dared to disturb the meeting. A few seconds later Estendear and Luthamo walked into the room with the guard closing the door behind them.
Thranduil stood up from his seat: “Estendear!? there has to be a very good reason to disturb this meeting and even more so for bringing someone in here that has no permission!”

Estendear kneeled down and looked quickly at Luthamo, convincing him non-verbally to follow his lead. “Your excellency, forgive me for interrupting your meeting, but this couldn’t wait.” He gestured at Luthamo and continued: “This is Luthamo, messenger from the Realm of Lothlorien. He brings a message from Galadriel. I thought, your excellency, that this message can only be an important one and worth interrupting anything.”
“So, you were thinking…” Thranduil took a pause before continuing: “well, let's hear what he has to say and after that decide what to do with you!” he sat back down again and leaned back nonchalantly to impose on Luthamo, “go on than messenger. Speak up!”
Luthamo stepped forward insecurely, rasping his throat before speaking: “I am here on behalf of Lady Galadriel with a message from her.” Thranduil rolled his eyes. “Lady Galadriel has seen images in her mirror, images of fire and horror. Images of nails and claws crawling through the Woodland Realms.” Luthamo took a deep breath and changed to a softer tone: “she has seen the dragon responsible.”
“No dragons have been seen since the Mighty Smaug was slain at Laketown years ago!” this time it was Sogriel that stood up: “the watchers in the Mirkwood haven’t reported any dragons moving in the forests for miles around!”
Idhremben defended Luthamo before he was able to react, “This is exactly what I was saying with the rumors of late: the scratch marks on trees, the burned animals and the shed off scales found in the forest, closer and closer to the city.”

“That is settled then!” Thranduil intervened, “Estendear is leading a small investigating group to go into the forest and report back to me. This meeting is dismissed!” With that said he stood up and walked out of the room, directly followed by the guards present at the doors.

- o - o - o -

Deep in the Mirkwood forest a small group of Elves moved in the shadows. They had set out from Thranduil’s halls on their horses following the Elf path. After a couple of miles, at the crossing of the Enchanted River, they had left the horses on the road and continued on food, moving along without a road to lead them. Estendear led them fierce towards the Mountains of Mirkwood, determined to give the King a detailed briefing once they would return. At the edges of the Mountain ridge was where the rumors first started to appear.

As they moved further from the road the forest became gradually denser and the air thicker, which slowed down the pace of movement. These parts of the Woodland realms had been the home to lots of spiders, weaving webs between the trees like a blanket covering the forest. Now there was no web nor spider to be seen. Trees bore marks of claws and branches were snapped. Indications that recently there definitely were lifeforms moving in these parts of the woods. Aware of the correct observations of the Lady Galadriel and the absence of spiders, the company pressed further, more carefully.
All of a sudden the trees parted and they stood on the edge of an area that once was full of trees. The air smelled of sulphur and the earth was scorched. The area stretched all the way to the root of the mountains, but at no point it was wider than a couple of feet.

Estendear waited, inspected the surroundings and looked for tracks. “It looks like there was more than one creature. Some on four legs and some on two. They moved to the mountains.” They started moving in the same direction, scanning the tree lines with every step they took.
Nothing stirred in the vegetation nor alarmed them of any creatures present. They got closer and closer to the mountains. As their shapes became clearer Estendear noticed something was off about the mountains and one mountain in particular. At the base of that mountain he just spotted a couple of creatures entering what looked like a cave. Small blue creatures walking on their behind legs and a larger orange one on all fours with a sail on its back.
Not long after the creatures disappeared the ground started to shake heavily. Estendear and his group weren’t able to stand on their feet. Down on hands and knees they watched as one of the mountains started to grow, rising up higher and higher into the sky until suddenly it broke loose from the earth and ascended in the heavens.

Grrr, Imrahil

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A few words of my own:

Upon seeing the theme I had two thoughts: the first one was taking the theme literally and work around a fish that was able to move out of the water. The second idea was the figuratively way and take it a step further.

Like in most of my stories I tend to start of strong and detailed, but along the way get short of time and words to make up the ending. So again this story seems rushed from the moment the squad is out on patrol. For next competition's theme I will have to think smaller to be able to get a consistent story all the way through.
I like that even though rushed at the end I still managed to get 4 votes, this surprised my happily.

Grrr, Imrahil
 
ohhh, a LOTR setting. @Imrahil , is that you?

Anyway, the envoy of Galadriel goes to see King Thranduil, which appears to neglect this usual duties as he delegates his adviser to host the audiences.

The story developes nicely, setting the stage for the real gist, which is the apparent awakening of a dragon, a news that was discarded when presented by people other than a royal messenger.

Despite the perplexities, the king is forced to acknowledge that something could be happening, and an expedition goes to investigate.

Now the lizardmen enter the story, as the Dragon is not a dragon, but it’s a group of skinks plus a salamander. I suppose they are the fish out of water, as the have nothing to do with the setting, so it’s kinda like “cowboy vs aliens”.

Anyway, the interaction is minimal, as they disappear into a mountain and the mountain simply rises in the air and flyes away (a buried temple sity?), leaving unanswered a ton of questions. a weird ending.

The good: the setting in unusual and it’s well presented. Good descriptions and also nice depictions of the feelings (as in the first scene when Luthamo arrives and the guard post)

The bad: the introductive part drags itself for too long, and the part in the Mirkwood forest is relegated to the final, rushing things and leaving unanswered many things, which leaves a sense of incompleteness, as if i were robbed of my due real story.

Thanks for your words of review.
I truly agree with your interpretation. I had a general idea of the story and how lizards would be presented in it, but not how it would go from there.
Because the lack of time and inspiration I thought of the fasted way out to end the story.
In the process I felt like the Lizards came to cleans the woodland realms of the evil spiders, but I didn't succeed in doing so.

I like that the description and depiction of feelings portraited well

Grrr, Imrahil
 
9. The LotR stuff really threw me off. The author clearly knows their LotR and the lizardmen are included in a clever way. It was fun to read, but the introduction was a bit long for my taste. I wish it was longer, with a bit more action.

Thank you for the review.
I am glad you enjoyed to read it and I agree with you on the lack of action.

Grrr, Imrahil
 
Spoiler: Story #9 – Halls and Mountains
This story surprised me: It sets in neither the World-that-was nor the Mortal Realms, but in Middle Earth. I like the characterization and setting of the scene, the downfall is: it takes up to much of the story therefor the remaining part seems very rushed. The take on the theme looks to be two ways. First Luthamo being out of his comfort zone in the tunnels of the King’s halls. And second, the main take I guess, the Lizardfolks interfering in Middle Earth. Still there remains the question: What were they doing in the forest and why did they leave?

Well, never mind.

Grrr, Imrahil
 
A few words of my own:

Upon seeing the theme I had two thoughts: the first one was taking the theme literally and work around a fish that was able to move out of the water. The second idea was the figuratively way and take it a step further.

Like in most of my stories I tend to start of strong and detailed, but along the way get short of time and words to make up the ending. So again this story seems rushed from the moment the squad is out on patrol. For next competition's theme I will have to think smaller to be able to get a consistent story all the way through.
I like that even though rushed at the end I still managed to get 4 votes, this surprised my happily.

Grrr, Imrahil

yep, it's a pity when you have to rush things.
There was a really great potential in this story, but it went wasted because of that.
Personally, i would invite you to always give more "equilibrium" to the story: trim some parts and keep a constant pace to the presentation of the various events. ;)
 
yep, it's a pity when you have to rush things.
There was a really great potential in this story, but it went wasted because of that.
Personally, i would invite you to always give more "equilibrium" to the story: trim some parts and keep a constant pace to the presentation of the various events. ;)

Thanks for the advise, I will take this with me to the next story.

Grrr, Imrahil
 
This is the short story I wrote for the Juli-August 2021 short story contest

The Theme was: "Unusual Allegiance"

My entry:

Saved by a Sacrifice

It was early, at the point of daybreak. During the night the penetrating smells of the city where swept away. The streets and alleys where still calm and quiet at this moment. The old Gromglut wanted to arrive at the temple pyramid before the streets came alive with everybody starting up their daily activities. He walked leaning forward, heavily supporting his staff. He was, like all Weirdnobs, going barefoot and wearing a worn down leather cloak, made out of skin from captured pray and slain enemies. Alongside him walked his apprentice, Dolgrok. Since a couple of years he appreciated the company on his travels.

Both Orukks had traveled a long way from where their camp was set up. At this moment the camp probably had moved several times again. Every five days or so the camp moved on to a new spot.

The last few days they had found the Primeval Jungle and struggled through it to find the entrance to Mekitopsar.

The Weirdnob stopped briefly to catch his breath, since they had reached the city the road kept climbing towards the temple pyramid. He looked at the sky. From the colors of the heavens he could see that the sun was rising behind the Carcass Dones. In the distance they heard the Cold Ones awake. In no more than an hour this street will be swarming with Skinks, Sauruses and Kroxigors.

They’d better hurry if they wanted to reach the pyramid unnoticed.

The cloaking spell, that he had casted, had taken them past the gates of the city without a problem. But step by step his concentration, to keep the spell up, was fading. At this point climbing the streets took all the attention he had.

Dolgork took the Weirdnob by the arm and they continued their way.

***

Yuq'al-takuil was walking circles in his chamber for some time now. During the night his sleep was disturbed by a vision. Flashes of green had lighted the sky and the silhouette of a giant worm that rampaged the earth below. Spawning forth warriors and spawns of chaos.
He lost count of how many circles he had walked by now and still he had made no progress in unraveling the message within the images that had overwhelmed him last night.

After another circle he stopped to look out of the window in the east wall of his chamber. The Sun was hanging a couple of feet above the horizon like an orange that just bounced back from the floor. It bathed the top of the pyramid in a warm yellowy glow. A sigh escaped from Yuq'al-takuil’s mouth as he figured out that time was running out.
Loud stumbling and muffed screaming brought his attention back to the present. Outside his chamber was the Platform of Prayers, usually a serene place where the Priests conducted their prayers and meditations. On the platform Yuq'al-takuil discovered four temple guards surrounding two lifeforms handcuffed and with a linen bag over their heads. Next to them was a bag with their possessions. Most prominently of them the crooked staff with a big skull on top. Yuq'al-takuil motioned the eldest of the guards to follow him. They stepped in to his chamber.

Once inside he addressed the guard: “Qu’y Rokdi, tell me what happened.”

“Yes Sir,” he replied, “we found them at the foot of the pyramid, sir. They are Orruks, Sir”

Yuq'al-takuil scratched his chin. “So it has begun?”
“Sir, if I may, Sir.”

Yuq'al-takuil motioned him to proceed.

“They entered the city unnoticed and were headed here. To you, Sir. It is alarming to say the least, Sir.”

Qu’y Rokdi took protection very seriously and any lack thereof he found disturbing, what is more unforgivable. Ever since he had been let into the ranks of temple guard he had been keen on protecting the elite class of Mekitopsar. Scar veterans, Oldbloods, Priests and Starpriest it didn’t matter as long as he could provide optimal and wholesome protection. The last few months Yuq'al-takuil had been the security detail of Qu’y and without any errors.

“What do you want us to do with them, Sir?

Yuq'al-takuil looked at him and was visibly waying the options. Eventually he said: “Take them to the Square of Sacrifice. Bring along the cauldron.”

Qu’y Rokdi nodded and walked out to the platform again.

At the heart of Mekitopsar stood a large flattop pyramid. The top of it formed a perfect square with in the center of it a stone altar. It was a single piece of stone around the sides it was carefully hand carved, showing different pivotal moments in Seraphon history.

The small company, led by Yuq'al-takuil , moved swiftly. As daybreak was fully upon them they didn’t want to attract to much attention. Moving from shadow to shadow they reached the Square of Sacrifice.

Qu’y Rokdi placed the cauldron and the captives next to the altar. Yuq'al-takuil took place behind the altar: “Unbind them and remove the bags.”

Qu’y Rokdi did as commanded, but with visible reluctance. Both Orruks acted relieved to be free again. Yuq'al-takuil mentioned to the chauldron and Gromglut walked over to inspect it and turned to the skink: “Ya have seen us kom’n, ya know uv our goal?”

“I was made aware of the things that are happening and the aid that you seek”
“Gud,” said Gromglut with a smile, “lets get ta it den!”

He pointed at his bag of supplies and Dolgrok handed him his staff. After that various ingredients
traveled from the bag to the cauldron. Gromglut banged his staff three times on the floor and then pointed the skull, on top of his staff, just below the cauldron and green flames appeared all around it.

All this time Yuq'al-takuil did not move a muscle, but once the flames climbed aside the cauldron he pointed at Dolgrok. The Temple Guards immediately came in action and grabbed him, each by a limb. Dolgrok screamed, first out of surprise and next out of fear as the guards carried him to the altar. Any cries for help directed to his master were in vain.
The guards pressed him on top of the cold block of stone. Yuq'al-takuil had closed his eyes and raised both hand holding a sacramental blade. The blade did not struck, but was brought down slowly whilst the starpriest mumbled incantations, with his eyes now open without a pupil showing. Dolgrok’s cries for help had transferred to cursing, cursing both the Seraphon and his master. The blade pierced the skin on his chest and dark blood started to run down his sides. Cursing turned to screams of pain.
Yuq'al-takuil, still in trance, worked with precision. Cutting flesh, muscle, sinew and bone. The screaming rose to near unbearable to suddenly stop. The only sound left was of the sacrificed coughing up blood and choking in it. At the same time Yuq'al-takuil raised his blooded hand holding Dolgrok’s heart and shouting out: “I call upon thy, Savior of Seraphon, Slayer of Chaos!! Sotek arise and save us once more!” After the incantation he turned to Gromglut and put the bleeding heart in the cauldron. After a couple of seconds a green pillar of smoke erupted into the sky blocking out the sun.

***

Not far from the Gnarlwood along the Bloodgullet Mawpath thick clouds drove together. Below it on the ground a battle raged. Warclans of Orruks surrounded and heavily outnumbered by hordes of Chaos spawns and warriors. Just a mile away from the frontline a giant bulking black worm, Fangathrak, was tied down by massive chains with at either end a greater deamon of Chaos to hold it down. Whilst more and more creatures came forth out of the gullet of the beast.
The dark clouds started to swirl and pour down at the center. Flashes of green ran through it as the tip of the vortex turned into the head of a snake. With a smattering force it came down engulfing Fangathrak and the surrounding dominions of chaos.

After the clouds cleared all that was left were the Greenskins on their knees staring in awe at the sky.

Meanwhile in Mekitopsar another Greenskin fell on his knees. Gromglut was alone on the Square of Sacrifice looking out over the city, his face warmed by the sun. His body fell forward on the floor, the sacrificial blade stuck right between his shoulder blades.

Grrr, Imrahil

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This is the short story I wrote for the January-February 2021 short story contest

The theme was "And now for something completely different"

My entry:

Sneaking in the Shadows

“One hour until closing time!”

The announcement bounces of the high white walls of the Great Court in the British Museum.

Larry was welcomed by this sound every day as he crossed the smooth floor of the immense hall to the security room.

At the far left corner he enters a small square room nicknamed ‘the Office’. The left wall is mounted with numerous monitors, somewhat in front of those monitors stands a desk with two decent office chairs. Murph greeted him enthusiastic: “Good morning Larry!” Larry knew this is mostly because his arrival announces the end of Murph’s working day.

“Good evening Murph. Anything special today?”

“Well the cleaning crew got a new addition that is one mighty fine work of art” to underline his words he nodded his head in the direction of a particularly monitor. That monitor showed a young woman mopping the floor of the Mexico Exhibition, in the north-east corner of the museum.

Larry watched Murph’s face form into a big smile. “Go ask her out! You’ll be off from work within an hour.” Murph’s smile disappeared for a second but he quickly restored it.

“I will, o, I will!”

“We will see about that. Please restore the camera’s view to its original position before you leave.”

Larry proceeded to the locker room to change into his uniform. When he returned he sat down next to Murph and checked the monitors. No more close ups of working staff. The only people showing up on the monitors are an elderly gentlemen, a middle-aged woman and a young couple holding hands. The later strolling through the rooms with not the least bit of hurry to make it to the exit.

Murph moved his chair in front of a microphone and flicked a switch.

“To all visitors remaining in the building, please make way to the exit. We are closing within fifteen minutes!”

Murph turned the switch back and stood up: “From here on out it is your problem.” He said smiling while he walked to the locker room.

After Murph had left ‘the Office’ Larry checked the monitors to see if the visitors proceeded to the exit as requested. He couldn’t help to mumble “You dirty little coward” upon noticing Murph’s quick getaway for the exit.


At closing time Larry went out for his first round. This first round consisted mostly of checking if there were still any visitors left in the building. At the end of his round Larry arrived at the main entrance as the remaining daytime personnel were leaving.

Outside, in front of the museum, a little crowd was gathered. This had become a regular occurrence the last months. They carried signs and shouted “Give us back our inheritance!” and “Thieves of culture!” In the last couple of months there were more and more people claiming pieces in the British Museum as theirs or part of their cultures inheritance stolen during colonialization many years ago.

Some people even tried to take items out of the museum themselves, of course without success.

Before heading back to ‘the Office’ Larry made sure that the exit was closed properly after the last person left the museum.

Back in his chair he stretched his arms above his head and put his feet on the desk. According to Larry this was the best part of the job, being able to relax during working hours. He would walk his second round when dusk fell, that wasn’t for an hour or two.

Leaning over he pulled a black hard plastic suitcase out of his backpack and placed it on the desk. On top if the suitcase was the emblem of an eagle. When Larry opened it up the red foam inside expanded a little like it just got some fresh air to breath. Underneath the layer of foam a vast collection of bright colored plastic figurines appeared.

Larry removed the figurines carefully out of the foam and positioned them on the desk. One after the other and he put them side by side, forming a line. The models, all equipped with a blowpipe and shield, looked like tiny lizards standing on their behind legs. Beside the colored models a bunch of black coated models appeared and a set of paints and brushes. Last out of the case came a larger creature, colored, more amphibious than reptilian and seated on a floating stone throne.

After poring himself a cup of coffee and filling a mug of tap water he sat himself down again and started painting some of the black models. Once every minute he quickly looked at the monitors to check if there were any changes.

Larry placed his brush in the mug of water right after dusk fell. He grabbed his keys and flashlight and took off for his round of inspection. Moving through the rooms he noticed nothing special or out of place. Walking from room to room his mind wandered off. If this night will be as usual he could complete his monthly goal of painting models with even one week of the month left.

Upon arriving back at ‘the Office’ Larry saw some blue light flashes coming from underneath the closed door. With growing suspicion and a heavily beating hart he reached for his keys, his other hand on the taser on his right hip. As slowly and silently as possible he slit the keys in the lock and turned them around. Then he took a deep breath and kicked the door open while pulling his taser out and holding it in front of him to aim at any danger present in the room. Nothing… no movement, no sound other than the echo of the door that slammed against the wall.

In the corner of his eyesight he noticed that one of the monitors on the wall was flashing with blue light. Four times and then it stopped.

Finding out that it was just a technical glitch he let a sigh of relieve. He placed the taser back in the holster and the keys on his belt. Before continuing on his models he refilled his cup with steaming coffee. Before sitting back down he stood staring at the monitors on the wall for a while.

When his heartbeat returned to normal he sat down to pick up painting again. Just at the moment that Larry picked up his brush there was movement on one of the monitors. The Mexico Exhibition. Larry stared at the monitor to see what had drawn his attention. Against the wall of the room there was a vague form swirling and sneaking in the shadows of the displays and artifacts. He could not identify what it was. But then the form stood in the weak glare of the night lighting and Larry dropped his brush in shock. There stood a Lizard-like creature with a frill on its head, it walked on his behind legs and was inspecting one of the Lintels on the wall.

With a high pitched hiss and a nod of his head the creature commanded two others to the Lintel in the middle of the wall while a third stood in the doorway to stand on the lookout.

Larry overcame his first shock and was bursting into action. His training took over from his routine, with his taser in hand he stormed to the Mexico Exhibition. With every step his disbelieve grew: “what…? how…? why…?” The last couple of meters he slowed down to assess the situation closely. There was the entrance to the Exhibition, but no creature. “What is happening now?” He sneaked closer and closer. Their high pitched sounds where coming still out of the room.

Suddenly the museum’s alarms sounded and Larry ran towards the room, just before he entered the room the blue flashes appeared again. One flash and a second one, just as Larry came in to the room a third flash started and he saw a tail disappearing in a thin wall of blue light before the light faded. He was two steps further in to the room when suddenly a pain went through his neck and it felt like a stone pressed on his muscles and eyelids. Just before he hit the ground he saw the fourth creature turning away and then a blue flash.
Larry hit the ground with a blow dart stuck in his neck.

Back in ‘the Office’ the eyes of the frog-like creature on the throne turned back from blue to black. Amidst the models on the desk one lizard model was holding a lintel whilst wielding a curved blade.

Outside the sound of the alarm carried in to the night while the sound of nearing police cars came from the opposite direction.

Grrr, Imrahil

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I really liked this one. Totally and immediately got Night in the Museum vibe.
 
Some words of my own:

I wanted to set this story in the timeline of AoS, to shake things up a little. My stories tent to set in the Warhammer era. For this one I had to dig up the possibilities of an Unusual Allegiance with another race (because I preferred that take on the theme). So the race had to be outside the races of Order, that had a common enemy with the Seraphon. As I am fond of the Ironjawz I thought they might suit well for the allegiance. The common enemy being Chaos was an obvious thing. But how big does the crisis need to be for Orruks to come knocking on the door of the Seraphon.
After some searching on the Realm of Ghur (the main realm of Orruks) I came across the story of the realm gate inside a giant Worm (Fangathrak) that was corrupted by Chaos.

I wanted to set the reader on a wrong path and make them think that the Orruks were planning an attack or tried to steal something from the Seraphon. The Starpriest of course is a step ahead of everybody and has seen what is happening and what has to be done.
As per usual any rituals of the Lizards comes with a sacrifice of some kind. The Weirdnob did suspect this and willingly offered up his apprentice for the ritual. Not knowing that in the end it would cost him his life as well.

In the end chaos has been stopped in its tracks.

Grrr, Imrahil
 
Reviews:

8) Saved by a sacrifice
Tricky, tricky shamans / priests. No one can really trust you, isn't it? well, this is an interesting story, with a pair of orruks going to seraphon for help. There's a price to pay, and no doubt it will be paid in blood, as it always happens in religious rituals in warhammer. Maybe the blood will be more than what anticipated, but those are details, all that matters is that Chaos, once again, has been repelled.
Pros:
What a cool idea! and also some pretty unique detail, as the sacrificial dagger that is just moved by magic, and the final realization of the "bodyguard" that he was the intended victim.
Cons:
Certain interactions or details seem a little forced or out of place, as the "human military" approach used by the Saurus guard, or why a High Priest should care to not draw too much attention in a lizardmen / seraphon city.

Thank you very much, I loved to read your review, it said exactly what my idea was behind the story.
I usually struggle with conversations in my stories. Both in language and attitude of the speaker.

Any tips for this?

8. Saved by a Sacrifice
Orruks again!
It fits the theme, and I like how in this story the common danger isn't as immediate as in the others. The Lizardmen just take the opportunity to fight chaos, pragmatic as they are. Nice descriptions of the scenes, quite cinematic and dark. Only the Saurus felt a bit weird to me, probably because they act too human.
And I wondered why the Lizardmen seem to want to keep that ritual secret.

Thanks for your review!

The secrecy was to keep the rest of the Seraphon in ignorance. Only the Starpriest knew the reason and goal of the arrival of the Orruks. The Temple Guards were ignorant as well, but they simply obeyed the commands of the Startpriest.

Saved by a Sacrifice: This is a very interesting take on the theme assuming I followed what was going on. Two orcs willingly sacrificed themselves to Sotek to save their tribe by invoking Sotek's wrath against Chaos Daemons to help beleaguered greenskins. A clever idea.

My main misgiving is that I was not and am not 100% what is going on in the story, even after multiple reads. The piece has interesting characters and evocative imagery but it lacks clarity.

Thanks for your words!

Story Eight:

Gitstompa: Wot? Whyz dat weirdboy makin a deal wiv dem scalies rather den ‘ave a fite a gud propa fite against da oddz?

Ikkit: Because the stupid green-things would have lost-lost.

Gitstompa: Yoo zoggin idiot Ikkit, Orcs nevah looz! If wez win wez win, if wez die wez die, if wez run away datz jus coz wez gunna get more boyz ta krump dem gitz bettah!

Ikkit: Sure-sure, whatever you say-squeak. I scent-wonder if it’s possible to summon-control the snake-thing god and corrupt it with Warpstone? Scent-make it turn-turn on the scale-things...

:):D
The concept of the reviews made me laugh.
You hit a good point on Orruks fighting against the odds anyway. This was what I said to myself as well, but that made it even more unusual ;)

Story 8: Another Greenskin story, this time with them as part protagonists, and trying to infiltrate a Lizardman temple city before the reptilian denizens awake. The old Shaman Gromglut and his apprentice, Dolgork, cast a cloaking spell around themselves to ensure the sentries of the Temple City would not spot them, but as soon as they reach the foot of the pyramid they intend to climb, they’re apprehended by a regiment of Temple Guard, who leniently take them alive to the Skink Priest Yuq'al-takuil, who leads them to the top of the temple, where a sacrificial shrine awaits them. Curiously Gromglut and the Skink have made a prior agreement - to sacrifice the Orc Shaman’s apprentice, without his knowledge. As the unwilling Dolgork has his heart torn from his chest, we are taken to a battlefield far from the city, where the Orcs are fighting a losing war against the hordes of Chaos that are spewing forth from a portal inside the maw of a giant worm. All seems lost, until a great sorcerous wind slaughters all the Chaotic Legions and destroys their portal, leaving just the bemused Greenskins alive. The last act of the ritual is for the Lizardmen to kill Gromglut too, his own sacrifice also contributing to the magical force that destroys the Chaos army.

This is a particularly interesting tale, which portrays the Greenskins more like the ‘noble savage’ Orcs from the Warcraft universe, allying with the Lizardmen to take down the ‘bigger bad’ of Chaos. A pretty dark story too, with both Orc main characters dying to rid the realm they were in of the Chaos menace, which is always a good thing. Again the author should read some more Warhammer Orc stories to get to know the Orc dialect (almost Cockney-ish, rather than what appears to be a bit Jamaican in this story, akin to the Warcraft trolls), but such a quibble is almost churlish given the quality of the rest of the story. In particular the fact the author managed to write a dark piece with a fair amount of goings-on with a relatively short length is particularly impressive (in part because no matter how hard I try I always seem to reach the max limit on my stories). Very well done!

Thank you kindly for the review :)

As said before conversations are not my strong point, definitely something to work on ;)

Saved by a Sacrifice:

This is my personal favorite story of the bunch and also the receiver of one of my votes. What really, really made me love this story was one of the last lines in the ending: “Gromglut was alone on the Square of Sacrifice looking out over the city, his face warmed by the sun.”

It’s packed with so much emotion as it shows Gromglut’s acceptance with his cruel fate. For such a savage character, his decision to sacrifice himself and his friend was a very noble one. And that last bit of imagery, “his face warmed by the sun,” contrasts beautifully with the violent and disturbing death of his friend that came moments before. I really like it when characters are either forced or motivated to make difficult decisions that goes against their personal nature. It’s just so beautiful and awesome and interesting for me to read imo.

While the ending was very emotional, I believe it could’ve been even more Impactful if the author explored Gromglut’s emotional state in the beginning of the story, but still keep it vague. This also could’ve used some more editing.

Thank you for your kind words :happy::happy: I am glad it moved you

Grrr, Imrahil
 
Last edited:
It has taken me some time. After finishing the short story for this month's contest I finally find the vibe to work on the missing story in the index.

This story was originally intended to be for the April- May 2020 short story contest

The theme of the contest was: "Rituals and Religious Practices"

I didn't manage to finish the story before the deadline and left it unfinished for quite a while. I really liked the idea I had and still want to share it with you guys. Any remarks and reviews are welcomed with open arms, as it hopefully improves my writing ;)

This is the story:

The Labors of twelve

Weak sunlight shimmered at the horizon.
Daybreak.
The end of a warm and wet tropical night was near, the start of an even warmer day at hand. The Culchan Plains where at rest. No movement for as far as the eye could see.
The silence of the night made way for the sounds of the awakening day life. At these moments most creatures took their chance to come out of hiding for some water and food, before the predators will show up. A warm breeze blew over the plains departing the vegetation on the edge of the vast jungle. Yuq'al-takuil was lying in the shadows scouring the wide plains in front of him.

Half a mile away there was a large pool of water. The first animals showed up, carefully scanning the surroundings for predators. After a couple of cautious steps they picked up their pace to the water’s edge. Not once losing sight of all that happened around them.
The grouped animals took turns drinking from the water, while those not drinking stood on the lookout. While no imminent danger was around this process kept on going until all animals had drenched their thirst. Right after the last one raised its head from the water surface, clouds of dust appeared at the horizon, growing bigger by the minute.
The peaceful scene around the water pool abruptly changed, all animals sought a place to hide, taking cover for the thread that caused those clouds to emerge.
Getting closer and closer a couple of shapes took form in all the sky sent dust. A pack of wild boars was closing in. Amid them a magnificent specimen, tall and muscular, the alpha of the pack. This pack of boars headed on to the water pool.
Everything about these boars showed that they were not at the bottom of the food chain around here. Packed with firm hooves and razor sharp tusks, covered in scars and bruises, most likely from fighting among themselves.
In contrast with the animals before, the boars drank from the water without the need of being alert or standing guard.

Yuq'al-takuil knew this was the moment he had been waiting for. As he watched on there was a small disturbance in the little vegetation surrounding the pool. Some movement other than that of the boars. Slowly, not noticeable to an untrained eye, something moved closer to the unaware boars.
Suddenly a spear soared through the sky, from across the pool into the pack of boars. It didn’t find flesh, but penetrated the mud in between them. Even before it struck the ground, a second spear came down. Again it hit no flesh. Both spears had flown over the Alpha Boar and landed in between him and the rest of the pack. Between the spears a strong net was sprung, shimmering blueish green.
The Alpha was trapped at the edge of the water. After a brief moment of surprise the rest of the boars formed a group to encounter the unknown hunter, from whatever side it would come.

In the meantime, from the bushes across the pool, a long scaly form slithered into the water. No splash was heard. Slight wrinkles at the surface were the only giveaway of the hunter closing in. Once at the other edge of the pool the wrinkles turned in to coldblooded firm yellow eyes and a snout. Then the whole head of a Saurus came clear above the waterline. Mere seconds later the shoulders and arms followed. Crawling out of the water right behind his victim, that still couldn’t escape. Out of sight for the rest of the pack Qu'y Rokdi drew his sword and in an instant he slit the muscles in the back legs of the Alpha Boar. A loud roaring squeak filled the air as the boar dropped through his hooves.

Shock went through the pack when seeing their leader in pain on the ground. One of them attempted a charge to aid the fallen boar. Fierce and strong the boar came running in, but stopped in its tracks by a flash of blue and green lights. He had hid the net and it wasn’t giving an inch. A second time didn’t result in anything different. Shocked, both figuratively and literally, the boar stumbled back to the pack, bruised by his attempts of heroism. The pack decided that there was no way to save their leader from this cunning hunter. They left the pool to avoid being the next victim and to establish who among them would be the next Alpha of the pack.

After the first strike Qu'y Rokdi leaped around his victim. At the same time the boar tried to turn around to face his attacker, in doing so he moved his head sideways and opened up a clear strike to his throat. Without hesitation Qu'y Rokdi planted his sword in the soft tissue between the shoulder and the head. Struggling to turn back the boar couldn’t reach the Saurus, not being able to turn his head or use his legs the boar was pinned to his place and losing a lot of blood.
Qu'y Rokdi looked at his prey as the sand around it turned into a red mud. Approving of his work he went to retrieve the Spears of Entrapment. This artifact of Itzl had been his loyal weapon in many encounters, the thought alone of ever losing it made him heavyhearted.
He returned to the boar grabbed it by the legs and started dragging him away from the pool.

Between the trees Yuq'al-takuil smiled as he saw Qu'y Rokdi return with the boar dragging behind him. He retreated deeper in to the forest to make preparations for when Qu'y Rokdi would arrive.

***

Qu’y Rokdi moved slow through the dense jungle. He didn’t stop, because there was a lot riding on his return with the catch of this morning.
The sun had already past its highest point when he breached the vegetation on the edge of an enormous open space in the middle of the jungle. In front of him rose the gates of Oyxl.
The gates stood high and mighty, stones the size of a Saurus, piece for piece put in place by the strong Kroxigors. The surfaces covered in perfect carvings and symbols speaking of the great Old Ones as creators and guiders of life. Others displayed great and important battles fought by Lizardmen against the swarming hordes of chaos. Yet another carving, close to the entrance, showed a warning that none other than Lizardmen could enter the city without being harmed.
The sight of the gates and those powerful images always filled Qu’y Rokdi with proud. This is where he had spawned many cycles ago, this was his place under the sun to call home.
While he stood there looking upon the city’s entrance he had dropped his load beside him and stretched his arm and shoulder for stress release.

The sound of music and festivities came from within the city. This would be his moment. He picked up the boar and entered the city. The music changed as soon as he crossed the gate. Horns and drums sounded announcing his arrival.
From the gate a wide promenade led to a central square with a raised platform. Along the promenade Skinks and Sauri were standing together having a good time, sharing food and drinks. When they noticed Qu’y Rokdi they cheered and shouted his name. He reached the platform. On top of it the Skink Priest mentioned the crowd to silence. To the right of the platform Qu’y Rokdi noticed his eleven spawning brothers. In front of them several things were piled together. He recognized the skin of a lion, the scales of a Hydra, an almost golden looking deer with it’s hooves together, a couple of birds hanging from a spear, the head of a Bullgor, a leather belt, a bundle of war gear containing three giant spears and shields, a pile of golden apples and the head and tail of a flesh hound. Next to this all a couple of Dark steeds were tied down so they could not move.

“On this day of testing we are all gathered to witness the great deeds of the chosen twelve among us. By the rite of the sacred guardianship these Sauri have been tasked to their extremes with almost impossible tasks. They have showed us and the Old Ones that they are worthy of a position as Temple Guards. Qu’y Rokdi, you have, over time, proven to be a good alpha Lizard for your spawning brothers. Lead them as well in their new task.

By the grace of Quetzl and under the guidance of Xokha, from this day forth, you shall be named Xenal-kekuil, Temple Guard alpha of Oyxl!”

Grrr, Imrahil

> Back to Index <
 
It has taken me some time. After finishing the short story for this month's contest I finally find the vibe to work on the missing story in the index.

This story was originally intended to be for the April- May 2020 short story contest

The theme of the contest was: "Rituals and Religious Practices"

I didn't manage to finish the story before the deadline and left it unfinished for quite a while. I really liked the idea I had and still want to share it with you guys. Any remarks and reviews are welcomed with open arms, as it hopefully improves my writing ;)

This is the story:

The Labors of twelve

Weak sunlight shimmered at the horizon.
Daybreak.
The end of a warm and wet tropical night was near, the start of an even warmer day at hand. The Culchan Plains where at rest. No movement for as far as the eye could see.
The silence of the night made way for the sounds of the awakening day life. At these moments most creatures took their chance to come out of hiding for some water and food, before the predators will show up. A warm breeze blew over the plains departing the vegetation on the edge of the vast jungle. Yuq'al-takuil was lying in the shadows scouring the wide plains in front of him.

Half a mile away there was a large pool of water. The first animals showed up, carefully scanning the surroundings for predators. After a couple of cautious steps they picked up their pace to the water’s edge. Not once losing sight of all that happened around them.
The grouped animals took turns drinking from the water, while those not drinking stood on the lookout. While no imminent danger was around this process kept on going until all animals had drenched their thirst. Right after the last one raised its head from the water surface, clouds of dust appeared at the horizon, growing bigger by the minute.
The peaceful scene around the water pool abruptly changed, all animals sought a place to hide, taking cover for the thread that caused those clouds to emerge.
Getting closer and closer a couple of shapes took form in all the sky sent dust. A pack of wild boars was closing in. Amid them a magnificent specimen, tall and muscular, the alpha of the pack. This pack of boars headed on to the water pool.
Everything about these boars showed that they were not at the bottom of the food chain around here. Packed with firm hooves and razor sharp tusks, covered in scars and bruises, most likely from fighting among themselves.
In contrast with the animals before, the boars drank from the water without the need of being alert or standing guard.

Yuq'al-takuil knew this was the moment he had been waiting for. As he watched on there was a small disturbance in the little vegetation surrounding the pool. Some movement other than that of the boars. Slowly, not noticeable to an untrained eye, something moved closer to the unaware boars.
Suddenly a spear soared through the sky, from across the pool into the pack of boars. It didn’t find flesh, but penetrated the mud in between them. Even before it struck the ground, a second spear came down. Again it hit no flesh. Both spears had flown over the Alpha Boar and landed in between him and the rest of the pack. Between the spears a strong net was sprung, shimmering blueish green.
The Alpha was trapped at the edge of the water. After a brief moment of surprise the rest of the boars formed a group to encounter the unknown hunter, from whatever side it would come.

In the meantime, from the bushes across the pool, a long scaly form slithered into the water. No splash was heard. Slight wrinkles at the surface were the only giveaway of the hunter closing in. Once at the other edge of the pool the wrinkles turned in to coldblooded firm yellow eyes and a snout. Then the whole head of a Saurus came clear above the waterline. Mere seconds later the shoulders and arms followed. Crawling out of the water right behind his victim, that still couldn’t escape. Out of sight for the rest of the pack Qu'y Rokdi drew his sword and in an instant he slit the muscles in the back legs of the Alpha Boar. A loud roaring squeak filled the air as the boar dropped through his hooves.

Shock went through the pack when seeing their leader in pain on the ground. One of them attempted a charge to aid the fallen boar. Fierce and strong the boar came running in, but stopped in its tracks by a flash of blue and green lights. He had hid the net and it wasn’t giving an inch. A second time didn’t result in anything different. Shocked, both figuratively and literally, the boar stumbled back to the pack, bruised by his attempts of heroism. The pack decided that there was no way to save their leader from this cunning hunter. They left the pool to avoid being the next victim and to establish who among them would be the next Alpha of the pack.

After the first strike Qu'y Rokdi leaped around his victim. At the same time the boar tried to turn around to face his attacker, in doing so he moved his head sideways and opened up a clear strike to his throat. Without hesitation Qu'y Rokdi planted his sword in the soft tissue between the shoulder and the head. Struggling to turn back the boar couldn’t reach the Saurus, not being able to turn his head or use his legs the boar was pinned to his place and losing a lot of blood.
Qu'y Rokdi looked at his prey as the sand around it turned into a red mud. Approving of his work he went to retrieve the Spears of Entrapment. This artifact of Itzl had been his loyal weapon in many encounters, the thought alone of ever losing it made him heavyhearted.
He returned to the boar grabbed it by the legs and started dragging him away from the pool.

Between the trees Yuq'al-takuil smiled as he saw Qu'y Rokdi return with the boar dragging behind him. He retreated deeper in to the forest to make preparations for when Qu'y Rokdi would arrive.

***

Qu’y Rokdi moved slow through the dense jungle. He didn’t stop, because there was a lot riding on his return with the catch of this morning.
The sun had already past its highest point when he breached the vegetation on the edge of an enormous open space in the middle of the jungle. In front of him rose the gates of Oyxl.
The gates stood high and mighty, stones the size of a Saurus, piece for piece put in place by the strong Kroxigors. The surfaces covered in perfect carvings and symbols speaking of the great Old Ones as creators and guiders of life. Others displayed great and important battles fought by Lizardmen against the swarming hordes of chaos. Yet another carving, close to the entrance, showed a warning that none other than Lizardmen could enter the city without being harmed.
The sight of the gates and those powerful images always filled Qu’y Rokdi with proud. This is where he had spawned many cycles ago, this was his place under the sun to call home.
While he stood there looking upon the city’s entrance he had dropped his load beside him and stretched his arm and shoulder for stress release.

The sound of music and festivities came from within the city. This would be his moment. He picked up the boar and entered the city. The music changed as soon as he crossed the gate. Horns and drums sounded announcing his arrival.
From the gate a wide promenade led to a central square with a raised platform. Along the promenade Skinks and Sauri were standing together having a good time, sharing food and drinks. When they noticed Qu’y Rokdi they cheered and shouted his name. He reached the platform. On top of it the Skink Priest mentioned the crowd to silence. To the right of the platform Qu’y Rokdi noticed his eleven spawning brothers. In front of them several things were piled together. He recognized the skin of a lion, the scales of a Hydra, an almost golden looking deer with it’s hooves together, a couple of birds hanging from a spear, the head of a Bullgor, a leather belt, a bundle of war gear containing three giant spears and shields, a pile of golden apples and the head and tail of a flesh hound. Next to this all a couple of Dark steeds were tied down so they could not move.

“On this day of testing we are all gathered to witness the great deeds of the chosen twelve among us. By the rite of the sacred guardianship these Sauri have been tasked to their extremes with almost impossible tasks. They have showed us and the Old Ones that they are worthy of a position as Temple Guards. Qu’y Rokdi, you have, over time, proven to be a good alpha Lizard for your spawning brothers. Lead them as well in their new task.

By the grace of Quetzl and under the guidance of Xokha, from this day forth, you shall be named Xenal-kekuil, Temple Guard alpha of Oyxl!”

Grrr, Imrahil

> Back to Index <

Mental note: go back through this thoroughly. I like the sound of it.
 
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