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Just for laughs...

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Easy, the chickens. Pleas note that it specifically says "YOUR car" meaning getting an Uber or having friends drive you places is an option.
Also, it doesn't clarify if "fighting an Orangutan with a sword once a year" means:

You're armed with a sword and fight an Organgutan... OR... you have to fight an Organgutan who is armed with a sword.
 
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