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Discussion Lizerd’s children’s books.

The very horrific picnic


“And I though wasps were bad” Malekith


“Oh shit, that’s not a seagull” Teclis, enjoying a sandwich on the beach


“His mouth has blood because he didn’t floss” imperial dentist


The sun was high in the sky, without a cloud in sight. Since lizardmen counter attacks were not very common at this time (for they were all lying around like lizards in the sun) a group of elves led by Teclis decided to enjoy a day out of the hot jungle and on the beach. Best of all there would be no seagulls to bother them, so they elves kicked back and relaxed in the warm sun, occasionally eating stuff they brought, with a delicious aroma.


But the smell was carried by a light breeze, back into the jungle. There, in the canopy it wafted through the trees, and right into the nose of a Ripperdactyl. Immediately it perked up, for the Ripperdactyl was hungry. After sniffing for a moment it took to the air and scanned the beach where the smell was coming from. It immediately spotted the elves on the beach, and the delicious food they were cooking. It licked its chops and descended upon them.

“Is it just me or did the wind pick up?”

“Shut up I’m enjoying the sun” Teclis grumpily responded. Like that, the Ripperdactyl was upon them, devouring sandwiches and anything in reach, in a moment the food was devoured and it turned its eyes on the elves, who instantly knew they were in deep shit. The Ripperdactyl lunged, tearing the heads off a few elves and picking up their corpses before taking to the wing. Teclis hurriedly readied a spell, but heard a wet thunk. For good measure, the Ripperdactyl dropped a massive turd on Teclis’s head before cawing and flying away.


“I’m gonna give this thing a try” Tik Taq To

“I warned you, but did you listen?” Tim the Enchanter

“Me! Me!” A razordon
 
Lizerd said:
The very horrific picnic


“And I though wasps were bad” Malekith


“Oh shit, that’s not a seagull” Teclis, enjoying a sandwich on the beach


“His mouth has blood because he didn’t floss” imperial dentist


The sun was high in the sky, without a cloud in sight. Since lizardmen counter attacks were not very common at this time (for they were all lying around like lizards in the sun) a group of elves led by Teclis decided to enjoy a day out of the hot jungle and on the beach. Best of all there would be no seagulls to bother them, so they elves kicked back and relaxed in the warm sun, occasionally eating stuff they brought, with a delicious aroma.


But the smell was carried by a light breeze, back into the jungle. There, in the canopy it wafted through the trees, and right into the nose of a Ripperdactyl. Immediately it perked up, for the Ripperdactyl was hungry. After sniffing for a moment it took to the air and scanned the beach where the smell was coming from. It immediately spotted the elves on the beach, and the delicious food they were cooking. It licked its chops and descended upon them.

“Is it just me or did the wind pick up?”

“Shut up I’m enjoying the sun” Teclis grumpily responded. Like that, the Ripperdactyl was upon them, devouring sandwiches and anything in reach, in a moment the food was devoured and it turned its eyes on the elves, who instantly knew they were in deep shit. The Ripperdactyl lunged, tearing the heads off a few elves and picking up their corpses before taking to the wing. Teclis hurriedly readied a spell, but heard a wet thunk. For good measure, the Ripperdactyl dropped a massive turd on Teclis’s head before cawing and flying away.


“I’m gonna give this thing a try” Tik Taq To

“I warned you, but did you listen?” Tim the Enchanter

“Me! Me!” A razordon
Click to expand...

“Lustria Online’s newest literary sensation is up to his old tricks again. I’m interested now in hearing about how Malekith could have got such a bad rep with the Naggaroth wasp population” - Lord Agragax of Lunaxoatl
 
Lord Agragax of Lunaxoatl said:
“Lustria Online’s newest literary sensation is up to his old tricks again. I’m interested now in hearing about how Malekith could have got such a bad rep with the Naggaroth wasp population” - Lord Agragax of Lunaxoatl
Click to expand...
“Oh! I didn’t know we could give reviews too!”
-Dracorex
 
Lizerd said:
Not a bad idea, but it’s going to be a few days until I can do more as school started again :(
Click to expand...
I feel you man. At least it’s almost...oh, only Tuesday. :mad:Now I want to rip some elf heads off!
 
New short story! The very angry razordon
“I got an excellent idea” Skink Handler

“And I thought porcupines were bad” Dark elf spearman



It was a normal day. No storms, just clear sunshine. Carnosaurs were devouring their prey while skinks and saurus were tearing the hearts out of their prisoners. All was going well on this very fine day. But one razordon had gotten a bad night's sleep, something about “Sigmar” and “Stormcast Eternals”. In fact he was so upset he did not even allow his handlers to give him complementary belly rubs.


Suddenly the alarm sounded, dark elves were attacking! The razordon and his handlers quick bounded out to defend the city. As they rounded a corner several dark elves spotted them and charged. Doing the only thing logical, the skink handler poked the razordon in the rump. Immediately the razordon channeled it’s inner rage and flung its quills. Immediately the dark elves looked less like elves and more like cacti, blood pouring out of every orifice. But the threat was not over, for Malekeith himself decided to take down the city. But this was not to be, for suddenly he felt a sharp pain in the nuts. He looked down and saw a long spine had impaled him. The dark elf had enough bs and decided to fly off.


“The barbs, they don’t come out right!” Malekith

“I hate guys in gold” the razordon

“Me! It’s time to burn down a city!” A salamander
 
Lizerd said:
New short story! The very angry razordon
“I got an excellent idea” Skink Handler

“And I thought porcupines were bad” Dark elf spearman



It was a normal day. No storms, just clear sunshine. Carnosaurs were devouring their prey while skinks and saurus were tearing the hearts out of their prisoners. All was going well on this very fine day. But one razordon had gotten a bad night's sleep, something about “Sigmar” and “Stormcast Eternals”. In fact he was so upset he did not even allow his handlers to give him complementary belly rubs.


Suddenly the alarm sounded, dark elves were attacking! The razordon and his handlers quick bounded out to defend the city. As they rounded a corner several dark elves spotted them and charged. Doing the only thing logical, the skink handler poked the razordon in the rump. Immediately the razordon channeled it’s inner rage and flung its quills. Immediately the dark elves looked less like elves and more like cacti, blood pouring out of every orifice. But the threat was not over, for Malekeith himself decided to take down the city. But this was not to be, for suddenly he felt a sharp pain in the nuts. He looked down and saw a long spine had impaled him. The dark elf had enough bs and decided to fly off.


“The barbs, they don’t come out right!” Malekith

“I hate guys in gold” the razordon

“Me! It’s time to burn down a city!” A salamander
Click to expand...

“A Razordon having bad dreams about Stormcast and Malekith getting shot in the nether-regions with a Razordon barb - classic. Another belter from the master short story teller.” Lord Agragax of Lunaxoatl

“I know how that Malekith guy feels.” Po the Panda

“Cool! Wish I could shoot my quills like that!” Sonic the Hedgehog
 
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