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The Random Thread of Random Randomness

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Forget the Marvel "What If" series. I'd like to see Disney do this with their classic movies more than I want to see live action remakes.


Whether or not she is paired with an evil Aladdin (Abu is a full sized murderous gorilla), I'd pay good money to see Princess and/or Queen Jasmine as a villain. Seriously, she has a pet tiger. No one who owns a tiger is not at least a little bit villainous.

Opposed by the young sorceress Jaffaria and her honorable but curmudgeonly parrot familiar.
 
Scalenex said:
Forget the Marvel "What If" series. I'd like to see Disney do this with their classic movies more than I want to see live action remakes.


Whether or not she is paired with an evil Aladdin (Abu is a full sized murderous gorilla), I'd pay good money to see Princess and/or Queen Jasmine as a villain. Seriously, she has a pet tiger. No one who owns a tiger is not at least a little bit villainous.

Opposed by the young sorceress Jaffaria and her honorable but curmudgeonly parrot familiar.
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It would be inventive and new, definitely, which the live-action remakes are not. Jasmine as a ruthless tyrantess, Aladdin as her street-thug enforcer, Rajah and Abu as their bloodthirsty animal companions... sounds like the making of a good collection of villains.

And there's no need to gender-swap Jaffar for him to be reinvented as a hero. Oh, wait, Disney is under the thrall of wokeism, in their eyes there is every need to gender-swap him for a more benign role, because their woke overlords want male heroes to be made extinct and women to rule because THE MESSAGE.


Though with regards to the live-action remakes, there are two I'd be interested in - Hercules, to see if they follow the 90s film or adhere to the actual myths more closely with aesthetics from the 90s film (and to see if James Woods returns as Hades), and The Black Cauldron/Chronicles of Prydain, because that needs a faithful adaptation where Jeffrey Katzenberg didn't mutilate it and turn it into a shadow of its former self.

But then both have male leads, so it's unlikely Disney could make a competent effort of them while they are still infected with the woke disease.
 
Lord Agragax of Lunaxoatl said:
And there's no need to gender-swap Jaffar for him to be reinvented as a hero. Oh, wait, Disney is under the thrall of wokeism, in their eyes there is every need to gender-swap him for a more benign role, because their woke overlords want male heroes to be made extinct and women to rule because THE MESSAGE.
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Before there was the Woke Message, there was a Trad Con Message. Chuck Norris, the paragon of traditional masculinity in his Walker Texas Ranger show. Every time there was a female villain, he was paired with a female ranger, and she fought the villain while Chuck Norris fought the villain's male henchmen. Because it would go against Chuck Norris if he hit a woman for any reason.

I sort of figured a female heroine would be an easy sale on both sides of the political aisle...and as a bonus, it is reasonable that woman with magical powers can take down men twice her size.

This was also pretty common with coed super hero and super villain team. The men fought the men and the women fought the women. Also in cop movies. Even Hot Fuzz did it with Officer Doris doing a dramatic of the most violent female baddy.

Lord Agragax of Lunaxoatl said:
Though with regards to the live-action remakes, there are two I'd be interested in - Hercules, to see if they follow the 90s film or adhere to the actual myths more closely with aesthetics from the 90s film
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I cannot imagine Disney going back to the original mythological roots on any classic tale. Among other things, Hades was not a nemesis of Hercules/Heracles. Hera was his divine nemesis and his mortal nemesis was King Eurystheus. Maybe James Wood could play Eurystheus but he's a little old to play a non-animated non-CGI character.

Not just Disney, but Hollywood in general is loathe to make big budget rated R movies and any Hercules story "true to the source material" would have to be rated R. If I was given billions of dollars and told to make movies and shows that I would like, I might make a dark and gritty general Greek mythology that stayed close to the original myths, but maybe the original are too dark for even edgy viewers.
 
Scalenex said:
Every time there was a female villain, he was paired with a female ranger, and she fought the villain while Chuck Norris fought the villain's male henchmen. Because it would go against Chuck Norris if he hit a woman for any reason.
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Scalenex said:
I cannot imagine Disney going back to the original mythological roots on any classic tale. Among other things, Hades was not a nemesis of Hercules/Heracles. Hera was his divine nemesis and his mortal nemesis was King Eurystheus. Maybe James Wood could play Eurystheus but he's a little old to play a non-animated non-CGI character.

Not just Disney, but Hollywood in general is loathe to make big budget rated R movies and any Hercules story "true to the source material" would have to be rated R. If I was given billions of dollars and told to make movies and shows that I would like, I might make a dark and gritty general Greek mythology that stayed close to the original myths, but maybe the original are too dark for even edgy viewers.
Click to expand...

Um, yeah, plus I'm pretty sure any true-to-myth Greek mythology movie would have to be rated X, not R. Lots of sex in Greek myths. I suppose they could do true-to-myth Egyptian, but that's not much better and includes necromancy, but then Greek myth does too. Hmm...

Personally, I would rather see a properly done, true-to-myth, Hades and Persephone myth movie (with James Wood doing Hades again). Hercules is kind of overdone.
 
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