Scalenex Imparts His Wisdom, somewhat belatedly
“Story One, A Place to Call Home: The official trailer”: This was very clever and very amusing. The characters were very iconic movie trope characters. Maybe they were
too iconic, they felt like tropes rather than people. The characters didn’t really move me emotionally. I guess that's par for the course for Hollywood blockbusters these days. I kept thinking in my mind “Where are the Lizardmen?” and that pulled me out of the narrative though about half way through I figured they would run away to Lustria and I was right.
Take on Theme: Home is stifling so we are going to desperately look for a home far away.
“Story Two, A Scary Day”: Another unconventional story. This was very character driven, not event driven despite the framework of a Slann dying and temple ship crashing being a huge event. This had a lot of emotional impact, I really felt Xix, fear, then determination, then desperation then despair. The abrupt transition to the frog creature on the new planet was a risky choice narratively speaking but it paid off reinforcing the melancholy theme. One way to
really hammer home sadness and horror is to juxtapose a tiny bit of peace and beauty into the scene. Masterfully done. I was impressed by the economy of words. Definitely a contender for the Scalenex Cup. I cannot really find any fault here. Maybe one thing that could have made this piece slightly better is one more paragraph. It was kind of an abrupt transition from “Got to help” to “nothing I can do.” I would have liked to see a paragraph with increasingly desperate and feeble bargaining on Xix’s part.
Take on Theme: The loss of the Slann is ruining/changing our home. We must try to rebuild now.
Story Three, “Buried Memories”: This story had some very good characterization and very thought provoking philosophy. In many ways, this response to the Old One’s machinations is very realistic. The inter-character conversations also felt real as if I was watching two real world humans having a discussion. My misgiving with this is that it seemed more like a philosophical debate than a short story. The pace was slow and I didn’t really detect much in terms of narrative stakes, conflicts overcome, or character growth.
Take on Theme: The concept of “home” is covered by someone exiled from their home. How do you cope now?
Story Four, “Message Repeats”: A very 40K story. I cannot really say anything about this piece that
@Killer Angel didn’t say already. A great grim dark piece deeply set in 40K lore but I’m not sure it will resonate with the audience here. Everyone dies, but I didn’t empathize with the character enough to give this the Scalenex Cup. I
know 40K characters have no hope.
Take on Theme: Invade another’s home, pay the price.
Story Five, “The Path to Salvation”: This is probably my favorite piece. Good pacing, great characterization, an interesting take on the theme, evocative imagery and a well-foreshadowed twist ending. Just wow. If I work really hard I can find something to complain about and that is that the name of the piece is not a great fit and it leaves a lot of unanswered questions. I am a super nerd and I want to know if this is the City of Tlax (he City of Ghosts) or not. This is an obvious contender for the Scalenex Cup.
Take on Theme: This reminds me of a famous horror movie I don’t want spoil. “This house is ours”
Story Six, “Letters of the Sea”: Dear Terric, I have fallen in love with my mailman and we are getting married. I still wish you well, I’m sure you will be able to find a nice girl after you return from Lustria with all your riches…-Adeline
There are a lot of journals of doomed Lustrian explorers, but this one hit me in the feels more than any of the previous ones I read. This makes me think of all the soldiers who die in Lustria. All of them have names, hopes, dreams, and aspirations. Even though it’s fictional characters, it’s pretty sobering. The Skink sifting through the wreckage was a good framing device. I’m not sure what the skink is trying to do or if they skink understands an iota of the messages. That said, I’m not 100% sure whether or not I like the non-traditional story structure since given that we know the ship is doomed. Given the emotional resonance this is a contender for the Scalenex Cup.
Take on Theme: I am far away but always thinking of home.
Story Seven “We all belong somewhere”: The narrative stakes are technically low, but the characterization and imagery is good I am pulled into wanting to know how the interrogation will go. Very good setting descriptions and character description.
Take on Theme: I carry my sense of home with me.
Story Eight “The Mind of a Huagerdon”: Interesting protagonist to take. I am a fan of Jack London. Jack London usually third person limited mostly and doesn’t normally go into the minds of wolfs and dogs directly. I’m not sure if that style of storytelling is a brilliant innovation or a lazy workaround. The piece was short and I tend to be favorably biased towards shorter pieces, but this might be too short. I’d like to know how and why the huagerdon is alone in the jungle and would have liked to seen how the Skink was searching for his beloved rover.
Take on Theme: Home is where the heart is. Home is also where the dog is.
Story Nine, “The Savage Beast”: The most light-hearted piece in a fairly serious contest (though I think story one is fairly light hearted but only in an ironic tongue and cheek way. It was a breath of fresh air after all the serious pieces in this contest. The names are kind of silly but the story is kind of silly so it works, chillax bro. The story did cover serious things too, brotherhood and loyalty. The author handled tonal shifts pretty well, and that is impressive because tonal shifts are hard. The transitions were a bit abrupt, the jump from dreaming to waking could have been a little clearer and the pace was a little erratic, but not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.
Take on Theme: Home is where I have ties to friends and family.
